Spy to the heart
by zippyzip
Summary: "Hermione, they won't mind if you back out" but that wasn't what Hermione was looking at. She was trying to decide whether they were listening. Then she spoke just as softly as he just had. "I don't think my sanity is a big issue at the moment. Do you?"
1. Chapter 1

**Spy to the heart.**

The war between Light and Dark is raging. Snape has been claimed as a traitor and the Order of the Phoenix needs a new spy. But will Hermione be able to live up to the challenge? Or will they be defeated?

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters**

_**Chapter 1: I'll do it**_

At first Hermione didn't believe she had actually said it. But as the whole Order had turned to look at her she was guessing she had voiced the thought that had been running through her head all through the meeting. When no one reacted she repeated herself. "I'll do it" her voice may have been unsteady but she held her head high, daring defiance. The silence was overwhelming for a few seconds. And she grew more and more uncomfortable. She cleared her throat to speak then like an explosion the shouting broke out. Hermione winced at the sudden noise.

The meeting she had been waiting for had finally been called. But when she'd arrived the amount of people there had disheartened her. They were supposed to be discussing spy possibilities but how was that possible with so many people? They'd been here an hour and all they'd done is moaned and whined about how they were losing and how they had been right about Professor Snape- she winced. He was just Severus Snape now. She still wasn't used to it. His departure – she liked to call it that - from the Order had thrown those in charge into the deep end. And everybody else was so full of their own opinions it was sickening. What did they know about him really? Most of them didn't even know he was a spy to start with. They had no idea of the hardships he had gone through for all of their sakes. She was in a room full of ignorant, selfish hypocrites.

Now he was gone, accused with the heartless murder of Albus Dumbledore. And they needed a replacement. It was a huge decision, and there were way too many members present for the discussion. Especially since Voldemort had his own spies within the Order. So far the meeting had been a waste of time. Some foolish youngsters had sought to become the next spy but they were practically laughed out of the suggestion. One of the volunteers had been a soon furious and red faced Ginny Weasley.

She hadn't meant to voice out her suggestion until she was alone with Harry but the endless circles must have driven her madder than she thought. She was fed up with sitting and doing nothing. It was eating her up inside, but there had been so many young deaths already. And the biggest blow was that her best friend was missing. Ron Weasley had been taken nearly two weeks ago…today. And it was the three week anniversary of her parent's death as well. There was only so much she could take. Was it any wonder she snapped?

She remembered the last time she had seen him so clearly. His smile, his smell as he hugged her goodbye and the way he had promised everything would be fine. She'd wished him good luck and let him go. It was hard to remember exactly what happened after that. She had waited for hours after the other members from the raid returned, each in various states. She did her duty in tending the wounded. Examining every battered and bloodied face desperately, searching for him, or any trace of him in their memories. People had seen her distress and tried to comfort her, filling her head with empty hope. She wasn't an idiot; she knew how hope was wasted, but at first she couldn't help herself, then the despair had set in. Not even Harry was able to comfort her after that. No matter how he had hid his grief for the fight, she knew it had hit him harder than everyone else. She didn't even see him anymore. He always seemed to be busy with Order work. Anyone that looked at him could tell it was beginning to take its toll on him. She hadn't been so controlled; the grief had consumed her for too long, confining her to her room. But now her blood boiled with new emotions, fury and a calculated determination for revenge.

She clenched her fists beneath the table and started to tune in to the noise, catching a few familiar voices above the crowd.

"You can't!" Molly exclaimed loudly, trying to get someone to listen to her.

"It's too dangerous!" Someone else shouted.

"You don't know Occulmency." Ginny added slyly from the doorway. She wasn't even supposed to be here but there were still some nods of agreement.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Remus finally roared. Immediately everyone went silent. Hermione couldn't stop the blush that flooded her cheeks as now everyone stared at her. Remus was looking at her too and was about to open his mouth to speak when Molly spoke softly directly to her.

"I'm not sure if this is…you're still at school dear…it's way to dangerous" Hermione suddenly felt her anger and frustration over turn the calm demeanour she had been attempting to portray.

She looked around the room. "Look at yourselves! Bickering like children when someone steps forward to do something we have been talking about for too long." She turned her gaze to Molly.

"What does school have to do with it? What is the point of a school run by Death Eaters? Most of your know who I am, and what I am? What's the point of pouring everything into school work when it could be yanked out of my grasp at any second? Term doesn't start for a few months and when it does, how will it be run? The only person who was protecting it is now dead. This is why we are here."

She paused, aware of the silence in the room as people actually listened for once, then turned her eyes to the red haired girl glaring at her.

"And for your information…" She paused for a second, feeling a twinge of uncertainty as to whether to reveal what she'd been hiding, especially considering the controversy surrounding people in her story. Finally she made her decision, she swallowed and spoke. "I've been learning Occlumency for nearly a year" She paused momentarily and before people got over the shock and started talking again she took another deep breath and continued "Severus Snape started teaching me about the same time he was teaching Harry". Harry was the first to speak through the shock.

"Why didn't you say?" He finally asked softly those green eyes looking intensely into hers. Hermione looked away.

"I just wanted to know if I could do it…Severus…" She paused again at the angry faces at the mention of his name. She cleared her throat at the mistake then continued "S- he offered to help me…he also started to teach me…Legilimency " There were a small number of murmurs that followed this statement while most of the group continued to sit in a shocked silence. Hermione considered showing them the memory but instead met Harry's eyes. He seemed to get the message and attempted to access her mind, using his wand inconspicuously by his side. She pushed the memory forward to help him.

"_Miss Granger. I believe this is yours?" Snape thrust a book into her hands '__**Occlumency for beginners: How to protect you mind and what's in it'**__ Hermione realised to her embarrassment she must have left it in the classroom. "…Th…Thank you sir" Hermione blushed lightly as she slipped the book back into her bag._

"_So you are interested in learning Occlumency?" Hermione nodded slightly and Snape raised an eyebrow "You do realise how few witches and wizards have the…" He sneered at her and Hermione wished she wasn't alone "…mental capacity to become Occlumens?" When she didn't say anything he continued "But I'm sure you feel that you could do it, like the insufferable know-it-all you are" Hermione looked to the floor. Blushing furiously and determined not to say anything that would get her in trouble. "Well?" he snapped. Hermione raised her eyes to look into his. Those deep black holes that glared at her mockingly. She felt a small presence at the back of her mind she and immediately broke the eye contact. Remembering what she'd read about Legilimency. She'd had enough._

_"May I go now please…sir" She said the last word with as much distaste as possible. He nodded and she headed away. Trying to make it look like she wasn't fleeing._

_"Miss Granger" He called and Hermione stopped in her tracks and turned round the face the potions master expectantly,__"You may be an insufferable know-it-all but if you wish me to teach you will come to my office tonight at nine. Do not be late" As he turned and walked away, robes billowing she couldn't stop the small smug smile that found itself on her face. He may be a greasy git but he was definitely the teacher she needed._

Then the memory was gone, he didn't search for anything else instead a soft voice from inside her heard spoke _"Hermione are you sure about this? I know you're still upset about Ron…"_ Hermione broke the contact forcibly. Then leant on a chair for a second, breathing deeply. It wasn't pleasant and it had been so hard not to break away. She had to when she heard him though. Harry looked surprised for a few seconds then his features reassembled themselves. Only a few people seemed to realise what had happened.

"I know what I'm doing Harry. I want to help and if no one else is willing to…" Hermione avoided looking at Ginny "I'd rather it was me" Harry sighed

"Ok, I guess we can discuss it in a bit-" then he was interrupted by an outraged Ginny who was no longer merely hovering by the doorway.

"You are actually considering this? It's stupid! She's barely older than I am and I've lost people to. Ron…" She hiccupped "Ron…was…is my brother" tears were gliding down her face now like little crystals twinkling in the light. "Why not pick me? I'm just as good as she is!"

"Ginny you not old enough" Arthur said to his hysterical daughter.

"Well neither is she!" Ginny was pointing at Hermione now.

"Ginny she'll be seventeen in a few weeks, you're not sixteen yet"

"Fine!" she seemed to calm herself down. "But don't you remember what she did last time she was fighting?" she looked around, a cool look on her face, "At least if you sent me, I wouldn't-"

"That's enough Ginny" Molly snapped suddenly but Hermione went cold, Ginny wouldn't do that to her…would she? But the way that Ginny was glaring at her made her think that she would.

"Ginny that was ages ago – Ginny please" Hermione's voice barely carried to the girl. Harry seeing a disaster about to happen walked up to the redhead and held both her arms, green eyes boring into hers. It was a battle of will and she struggled at his grasp for a second, her cool demeanour giving way to panic. Then with a last look at Hermione she broke down and collapsed in his arms silent tear's now pouring down her face. Harry walked her over to her mother and sat her down, as soon as he'd let go Molly put her arms around her daughter and rocked her slightly whispering comforts to her. Hermione still felt the cold running through her. Harry looked at her and nodded towards the door. Hermione took the hint and left noticing how quiet everyone was as she crossed the room. As soon as the door closed behind her she heard the room burst into life as everyone clamoured to speak at once, the people that didn't know were asking the people they thought should know. But then it went silent and Hermione guessed someone had put a silencing charm on the room. She sighed and decided to wait in her room while they talked about her.

She'd only just lain down on her bed when there was a loud knocking on the door and Charlie walked in a small smile on his face. "Charlie!" Hermione jumped up a smile or her face then threw her arms around him. He placed a quick kiss on her lips. Hermione moved away and sat on her bed. Charlie leaned against the door frame smirking slightly. "I could have been changing you know" Hermione said laughing and chucking her pillow at him. But he just dodged it and jumped on the bed with her, tickling her incessantly. When she begged for mercy he bent over her and placed a quick kiss on her lips. Before straightening up and looking serious

"What do you think your doing? Volunteering to become a spy?" his blue eyes so like Ron's met her chocolate ones. Hermione couldn't hold the gaze for long; she looked away, doubting her idea even more now. She didn't know what she could say to justify herself. She didn't even know why she was trying to do this.

Charlie and her had been dating for about two weeks now. He'd been there for her when Ron went missing. A shoulder to cry on when the pain became to much, a warm body to hold her innocently when the dark emptiness of the night tried to swallow her up, a person she could talk to, who understood her fear and was willing to talk about their own. She thought she loved Ron but now she was sure it had just been brotherly love. Though whenever she thought about it a twinge of guilt went through her. Was she desecrating his memory by not doing her old feelings for him justice in her thoughts? But it was how she felt, whenever Charlie was around her heart fluttered. It was a completely different feeling. It may not be love but it was as close as she could get at the moment. Charlie placed a hand under her chin and made her look back into his bright eyes.

"I don't know" She said softly "I just want to actually do something, I'm fed up with just sitting in this house. No one will let me go on raids since…" He put his strong arms around her and she leaned into his chest, loving the feeling of being safe with his arms around her. She could feel his strong fingers soothingly running through her curls.

"I understand" he muttered into her ear. Hermione would have liked to stay like that forever but there was another knock on the door and Remus poked his head around

"Hermione, there you are. Do you mind coming back down?" Hermione nodded and pulled herself off Charlie and moved towards the door. She turned to Charlie and lent on the door frame.

"You coming?" She asked gently. Charlie stood up and shook his head and Hermione felt a hint of sadness run through her. She felt like she needed his support but…

He took her hand and led her past Remus and down the stairs. When they got to the bottom he sighed and kissed her deeply. "I've got to go, but I'll see you soon" He placed another quick kiss on her lips before walking away. While Hermione waited for Remus to come down the stairs and lead the way into the room she wondered to herself when she would get to see him again and if he was right about her idea. For some reason her nerves were eating at her. As she finally followed him into the room she noticed that most of the people had left, leaving only a select few. Out of the Weasley's only Arthur remained. She knew most of them but those she didn't she guessed where Aurors. They all sat round a table, papers were scattered all along it. Remus motioned for Hermione to sit but she remained standing. It seemed too much like a trial for her to be comfortable sitting. Harry stared at her encouragingly and she reluctantly sat on the seat offered, feeling self conscious as the people in the room stared at her. Until eventually Harry spoke.

"Hermione, you know how problematic this could become for us. A lot is at stake, we've really only got one chance to make this work" He paused

"You're age is obviously an issue but these Aurors have told us there is a way to block the trace for a short amount of time, until your seventeen." He looked over his notes like he was reading her CV. "But there is another issue. You've got to promise us that you are…capable of controlling yourself" Hermione was about to object but changed her mind and nodded. "Obviously we won't send you straight in, you will have to practice and we will have to come up with a game plan" It took her a second to understand that this was their consent. When no one spoke after that she understood that she was dismissed and she got up to leave, when she was about to step out of the room she felt a hand on her arm. It was Remus, his eyes sought hers and he said softly.

"Hermione you understand how dangerous this is? You might have to get the Dark Mark Hermione; you might have to do dreadful things…" Hermione looked away but found herself drawn back to the eyes. His voice took on a different tone now, it was almost desperate.

"You're risking your sanity on practically a suicide mission. You've got so much to experience of life. You can't want to just throw that away?" Hermione looked back to the rest of the wizards sitting. Remus noticed her glance. "Hermione, they won't mind if you back out" but that wasn't what Hermione was looking at. She was trying to decide whether they were listening. When they did not seem to be she spoke just as softly as he just had.

"I don't think my sanity is a big issue at the minute" she whispered then turned and walked away. She was not going to be considered as a nut case. She was determined to finish what she started, determined to get her revenge on the bastard that had taken Ron from her. Whatever cost she had to pay, the result would be worth it. She considered going up to her room but froze on the steps. The group wasn't leaving. What if they were talking about her? She considered walking back to the door and listening but decided it wouldn't be worth getting caught. Instead she quickly ran upstairs and pulled out an old extendable ear from its hiding place and headed back down stairs. Finding a spot close enough for the ear to reach she sat down and sent the listening end to the door. Harry's voice was suddenly heard.

"But how would we get him to accept her? How can we fool him…?" His voice trailed off. There was silence in the group.

"We need to get a Death Eater on our side" Arthur muttered.

"But if we could get a Death Eater on our side we wouldn't need Hermione..."

Hermione knew one Death Eater that would help her. But she knew the Order would never accept it… or rather him. Maybe if she could meet him without the Order knowing… She attempted to touch Harry's mind through the door but instead she encountered a block, it wasn't incredibly strong but it was there. She smiled with pride, glad that his practice had finally paid off; with the block and accessing her mind earlier he was definitely improving. But she did sense he was tired.

You look exhausted" she heard Remus say gently.

"This needs to be sorted…"

"Harry you need to get some sleep" there were some faint protests but Remus interrupted.

"Listen, you haven't slept properly for days. You're working to hard"

"Remus is right Harry, we should discuss this tomorrow." Arthur joined in.

"I guess I've been outnumbered. We'll continue this tomorrow around six" there was a pause where Harry probably shook the Aurors hands. "Thank you for coming." Another pause but this was filled with scraping chairs. "Try to think about how we can do this; I don't need to tell you how vital this is, now goodnight" At this she heard footsteps as everyone headed to the door. Hermione quickly withdrew the ear and watched as one by one they left the house and apparated away. Finally Remus and Harry left the room. Harry muttered something to the werewolf but he shook his head then Harry spoke again normally.

"Are you sleeping here tonight Remus?" he asked. But she saw him shake his head.

"I've got to go and talk to the pack of werewolves that are thinking of joining us; I probably won't be back tonight." Harry nodded in understanding

"Good luck. And remember there's always a place here for you" surprising both Hermione and Harry Remus suddenly pulled Harry into an embrace and muttered something to him. Hermione felt though she was intruding so quickly and quietly made her way up the stairs. She waited for Harry to enter his room then took a potion out of her collection of bottles (she had a lot of spare time) to him, knocking quietly before she entered. When she opened the door he was lying in bed, she handed him the dreamless sleep potion. He took it gratefully then lay back and closed his eyes. Hermione started to leave the room but before she closed the door she whispered

"Harry? Harry?" He opened one eye sleepily "Can I borrow Hedwig?" Harry nodded before closing his eyes again. Hedwig flew to Hermione and she closed the door as quietly as possible. The snowy owl rested on her arm all the way up to Hermione's room. She had lived there since her parents were killed. Tears came to her eyes at the thought. She used to share the room with Ginny on the rare occasion the girl stayed. Well that was going to happen even less now. Hermione sighed and sat down on her desk, pulling out a piece of parchment and a quill. Unsure about what to put she sat there staring at Hedwig for a while. Wondering what she could write that wouldn't seem suspicious should anyone else read it. In the end she just decided to keep it simple. And hope she wasn't ambushed. But somehow she didn't think her old potions master would do that to her.

_Severus_

_Meet me tomorrow at 8. The same place we met the last time. I need to talk to you. I hope you come._

_Hermione _

Hermione frowned at the letter but she couldn't be bothered to alter it. She just wanted to go to bed and think a little before going to sleep. She had to be up early tomorrow to help cook breakfast. It was one of the things she had taken up to pass the time. Molly was the cook sometimes but she didn't stay at Headquarters often so it was down to Tonks mostly. She wasn't exactly the best cook so someone had to stand in and help. There weren't many people that actually stayed at Headquarters. A lot of them just came by at different times during the day. Most of them hadn't eaten because of raids or other missions. At the beginning she had been cautious about what she did around the house but then she realised Kreacher simply hated her anyway, no matter how she tried to be friendly to him.

Charlie could only come by for a couple of hours a day, if that sometimes. When the house was empty or silent late at night she found she missed Ron the most. He had always been there to talk to. Hermione sighed and tied the note to Hedwig's leg. "Take it to Severus" she whispered and an affectionate nip was her reply. She opened the window and watched Hedwig fly into the night. Hermione didn't know whether she would get a reply but she hoped he would get the note and show up. She shivered when a gust of wind rushed in so she closed the window. Reasoning that Hedwig would either tap or she would get up before the owl got back. Hermione stripped off and pulled an old t-shirt of Ron's on. She knew it was slightly strange but she liked feeling that he was close to her. She climbed into bed and closed her eyes. Attempting to clear her mind before sleeping like Snape had always told her to. She smiled at the thought. It had been so long…

**I have altered this chapter from its original so I apologise if the alternations have confused anyone. **


	2. Chapter 2

Discliamer: It's not mine... never has been never will be...

Chapter 2: Meetings

Hermione woke up groggily early in the morning to the sound of tapping. Her first thought was that Hedwig was back but when she opened her eyes and rolled out of bed she realized there was nothing outside the window so felt around for her wand. When the effort became too much she gave in and accioed it. Then she unlocked the door. Not caring that she wasn't encouraged to use magic inside Headquarters, seeing as she was still technically underage. It didn't really matter as they were only little spells and loads of witches and wizards used magic at Grimmauld place anyway. When she looked up she saw a purple haired Tonks standing in her doorway.

"Hey Hermione" she beamed and Hermione stifled a groan of realisation.

"I'll be down in a sec" She muttered and closed the door with a flick of her wand. Then crawled out of bed, turned the light and searched for some clothes. When she found a pair of jeans and a baggy t-shirt she cast a quick cleaning and ironing charm on them before slipping them on, placing her wand in her pocket then and trudging out of the room and down the stairs. She managed to pull her curls into a loose ponytail on the way. When she arrived in the kitchen Tonks was already there, attempting to make some toast by the looks of it. Only when Hermione had cleared the smoke did she see Harry sitting at the table reading the newspaper, unfazed by the smoke. He was used to her cooking by now.

"Good morning, any bad news?" she asked him when he finally looked up and saw her heading towards him.

"Not really, a couple of minor disappearances. No one from the Order though. And one of the Ministry of Defence wizards has been acting strangely. Published a completely different statement to one he made last week. Completely controversial "

"Imperious?"

"There is suspicion but that's only natural. I'll keep an eye on it."

"Good… I suppose. Have you had breakfast?" The question was directed at Harry but Hermione raised her eyes to Tonks questioningly, who was still trying to get rid of the smoke. The purple haired witch just shrugged, half heartedly gesturing towards Harry and waving the smoke around at the same time.

"He was down here before me"

Harry didn't even look up form his paper this time. "I'm right here Hermione, no need to talk around me. Of course I've had breakfast." It didn't take a genius to figure out he was lying. So she set to work making some bacon and egg.

Ever since Harry had arrived from the Dursley's he hadn't been eating properly. Yet he seemed to have grown up so much in the short amount of time he'd been in headquarters, it was becoming increasingly hard to know what he was thinking most of the time. When Hermione's parents had been killed at the beginning of the holidays Harry had said that the safest place for her to be was at Headquarters and had offered her the place to stay in immediately, Ron had joined her later on in the same day, comforting her about her family. Being there for her. He rarely left her side. When he did it was only to go on the occasional raid that Hermione wasn't allowed to go on. Not after…

Harry had arrived with a packed trunk about two weeks later, saying how fed up he was and vowing never to go back again. Hermione didn't need to ask what happened. Harry would tell her when he wanted to. From then on, Harry took more control, stepping into the role that Remus had been acting in. He was always there, in the foreground making some sort of speech, or just in the background listening to everything. He had been taking a main role in raids against the half hearted wishes on those in authority since a week or two into his move. He was also doing god knows what on his own half the time. As time went by the power he seemed to portray grew stronger and more prominent. Sometimes she could swear she saw a kind of fire burning in his eyes when they made a plan or had a successful raid. He may have not been the oldest or experienced member but he was the one they looked up to, the one they felt could defeat Voldemort when the time came, if the time came. The one everybody felt would win them the war. Hermione didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

Hermione served him up the breakfast. It wasn't the best but it was edible. Harry looked at it slightly distastefully, but one disapproving look from Hermione and he began nibbling away. Hermione smiled, satisfied, and then went back to preparing some more food that she could keep magically heated until someone needed it. It was easier than repeatedly cooking all morning. By the time she was done Harry had disappeared off to the library. Hermione didn't like to disturb him so she reluctantly decided to do some tidying up. Although she hated it, it was a good way to pass the time. Grimmauld place was still filthy and each time she thought she was nearly done she found another corner, another cabinet. It was frustrating but at least most of the rooms were liveable now. Not that there were many people to use them. She decided one of the dark rooms upstairs would get the treatment today. And that was where she headed grimly.

About an hour later Hermione conceded defeat. Throwing down the rag she'd been using she went to find Harry. But as she was about to go into the library she saw a flash of red hair disappearing down the second set of stairs, her heart leapt and she immediately went to follow the hair. "Charlie?" she called out as she thudded down the first set and then the second set of stairs. In the meantime waking up the portrait of Sirius's mother which immediately started screaming.

"FILTHY MUDBLOODS…DESECRATING THE NOBLE HOUSE OF BLACK….CONTAMINATING IT WITH THEIR FILTHY…" By the time Hermione was in the hallway the red haired person had disappeared out the door. It probably wasn't Charlie anyway. Hermione sighed in frustration and quickly froze the portrait and closed the curtains over it. But when she started heading back to the kitchen she tripped over the coat stand that always seemed to get Tonks, and went flying. Her wand flew out of her hand just as the portrait started screaming all over again. "DIRTY BLOOD SPILLED IN THIS HOUSE…FILTHY BLOOD TRAITORS…FILTHY MUDBLOODS…MURDERESS" Hermione scrambled around her hands and knees for her wand for a few minutes, listening to the screaming until finally she couldn't take it any more, she sat back up on her knees, closed her eyes and put her hand over them. Rocking slightly, trying to block out the noise. But it was too much.

"SHUT UP" She screamed, letting all her anger from the past few days burst out of her. When everything suddenly went silent she opened her eyes confusedly, wondering who had stopped the screaming. Her eyes stared blankly at the smouldering portrait in front of her before quickly gaining her senses and summoning her wand and putting the flame out with a quick jet of water.

"Hermione what's the matter…I heard the screaming and…?" Harry's face appeared at the top of the stairs, his hair even messier than usual and Hermione realised from the way he was rubbing his eyes that he had fallen asleep, a twinge of guilt ran through her.

"Nothing Harry, I just lost my temper with the stupid portrait" she was glad he couldn't see the smouldering remains from where he was standing; it would not help her reformed image. Harry looked relieved at this and smiled at her.

"Ok then, I'll see you later…there's an Order meeting at six ok?" and with that he disappeared back the way he had come. Breathing deeply Hermione then headed into the kitchen to prepare lunch.

By the time six o'clock came around, by the sound of the whispers floating through the halls everyone knew about the destroyed picture. No one was particularly sad to see the empty frame, it had hurled abuse at most of them at some point but no one knew how it had come about. People had tried to destroy or remove it before but none of the attempts had any effect. Hermione had decided to keep her mouth shut on the issue as she didn't want people to think she did it. Harry hadn't mentioned anything but occasionally she saw him staring at her with a strange look on his face which was quickly replaced with a soft but slightly sad smile when he noticed her looking. The group of people were pretty much the same as it had been yesterday, except Harry was missing, which was strange. Finally he entered, carrying a big book under his arms. He placed it on the table with a thud and everyone went silent.

"So… does anyone have any ideas?" He asked lightly. The group stayed silent and Hermione took the time to examine the book lying on the table. It looked old and she could see the dust settled on some of the pages. But the writing of the title was so faded she couldn't read it. So she just decided to wait for Harry to explain. Sure that whatever the book was he had brought for a reason. Harry looked around once more but when still no one said anything he sat down on a seat next to Hermione. "There are a couple of things we can consider possibilities…"

"Like what? Even if Hermione did get to him why would he think she would want to join him?"Remus queried.

"Dissatisfaction with her life as an Order member?" she murmured, more to herself than anyone else. Where was this going...

"Mistaken parentage…" Harry muttered. If he'd spoken any quieter she wouldn't have heard it.

"Wait what?" Hermione snapped to attention.

"Well …um bear with me…" he paused seemingly uncomfortable. "We could say you were adopted…"

"What?" Her brown eyes were wide and confused as she looked up at her best friend. Adopted?

Harry's voice was more hurried now. "Well the story could be that you always agreed with him…but didn't think you could as a muggle born…then you found out…"

"But he won't fall for that, he's smarter than that. One look into her head, one sense of the connection she felt with them" Arthur interrupted.

"No you see…we just need to cast this spell that will block the emotion in those memories…"

"Block?" Hermione asked shakily. Harry scanned the page he had just opened.

"Umm remove the connection between parents and children, in the memories of course. You would remember them…but not in the same way. It's complicated..."

"But he'll never believe that either, he must know about that sort of thing?" Remus cut in just as Hermione came out of her shock.

"It doesn't seem like the kind of thing he would study to me" He looked towards to Hermione "But it's a huge sacrifice, I'm not even sure of the effects…"

"Wouldn't I just be able to block those memories?" Hermione managed to force out of her constricted throat.

"No Hermione, not even someone advanced can withstand Voldemort when he knows what he's looking for"

"Oh" she whispered. Then the memories hit her.

"Hermione-" Harry started

"Umm…could you just excuse me…just for…" she continued.

Unable to sit there now that the images were running through her head and feeling tears come to her eyes she stood up and slowly left the room, unwilling for anyone to see her weakness. As soon as she closed the door behind her she broke into a run. She ran out of the house stumbling occasionally. Once she was outside the anti-apparating wards she closed her eyes and disapparated away, collapsing on the floor when she landed, too weak to keep her balance. Silent tears were streaming down her face. It was only when she managed to look up did she realise where she was. This sent a wave of fresh tears pouring down her face. Hermione pulled herself up and went to the door of the house, stumbling up the few steps leading upwards and finally falling on to the door. It looked exactly the way it had before… She closed her eyes and opened it. She could almost smell her mother's cooking and hear her father's laughter. But when she opened her eyes the place was dark and empty. Her parent's belongings were still scattered around, Hermione hadn't the heart to get rid of them just yet. As she wandered around the silent house she was filled with memories. Including the last one she had of her parents.

_She walked into the living room_

_Her father was sitting on his favourite chair, another one of his mystery books on his lap. He looked up as she came in "Hermione sweetheart!" he smiled, getting of his seat and giving her a hug, his eyes were the exact shade of brown as hers and his brown hair was just beginning to grey. He didn't believe in using hair dye._

Hermione moved and sat down on the chair, it had been broken when she'd arrived but she'd repaired it since. Not able to see it lying there broken. Like her parents had been.

_"Jane, Hermione's here" He called ruffling her hair._

_"Dad!" She giggled, just as her mother came in, apron on, her thick dark blonde hair was tied in a bun behind her head, just showing the grey of her roots, the dark brown eyes lit up as they rested on her daughter and Hermione felt a glow of happiness. "Mum" She exclaimed and her mother pulled her into a hug._

_"Hermione dear, what are you doing here? I thought you said you couldn't come until Tuesday due to safety or something" She laughed then caught sight of her daughters face. "What's the matter?" She asked suddenly concerned. Hermione looked away tears threatening to come to her eyes._

_"This is the… last time I can see you until after the… war, attacks on the relatives of the Order are getting worse. And I'm afraid they might find you" At once both of her parents enveloped her in another hug, making her feel a rare moment of safety._

_"I don't understand why you have to fight in this war...you're so young, my little girl" Her father whispered into her ear and kissing her head._

_"I just do, Harry needs me" They stood there until her father broke the silence._

_"I need to meet this bloody Harry Potter and have a word-" Hermione and her mother laughed and then her mother piped up._

_"So can you stay for dinner? I've made chicken" Hermione laughed again, relishing the rare feeling..b__ut I can't today...there's an Order meeting and its compulsory...we're…I've…" she walked forward and hugged them. "I've really got to go. Bye…" She hugged them once more hating that her last meeting with them had to be so brief. "I love you both so much" She muttered into the hug, then reluctantly broke away,_

_"We love you too sweetie" Her mother said and Hermione tried not to see the tears that glistened in her eyes. She knew she wouldn't see them for quite a while as the war showed no sign of being over. Quickly she hugged them again, inhaling the scent of the two people who had raised her, loved her, the people who meant the most to her in the whole world. Then turned and left the room, trying to hold her own tears in. She got as far as placing her hand on the front door when froze. What was she doing? She spun around and walked back to the room. Her parents were embracing each other, his father stroking her mothers hair tears were pouring down both faces. She cleared her throat and they looked up in surprise._

_"Hope you don't mind if I stay because…well… I'm starving" She grinned sheepishly and the three of them headed to the kitchen._

Hermione looked at the mantelpiece; on top of it were pictures scattered of the three of them. Hermione walked over and picked her favourite up. It was one of the shots taken when they were in France a few years ago. They were all at the beach; Hermione had an ice cream in her hands and was slightly pink. Her father was pulling a funny face as her mother kissed him on the cheek. Hermione wished that it could be moving like the wizarding pictures were. It had been a funny day. She placed it back, not wanting to ruin the display. She shouldn't have left them that night…if only she'd been stronger.

_She'd just apparated back to Headquarters when the alarm attached to her necklace went off. "Shit" she muttered and disapparated back outside the house. She shouldn't have been able to do this but the wards had been taken down. "MUM, DAD!" She screamed running to the door and pounding on it. She could hear their screams. "Alohomora!" she screamed but the door still wouldn't open. She tried to blast through it but the spell just bounced off. She looked around in desperation when suddenly her arms snapped to her sides and her legs snapped together, she fell to the floor and heard the cold laughter. A masked figure bent over her,_

_"Hello mudblood…" He whispered then looked towards the window "I'm sorry, how rude of me. You came here to see your parents. Would you like to see them?" He smirked. With a flick of his wand he levitated her so that she could see through the window. Their screams went through her and she tried to close her eyes but the spell prevented that, and she was forced to watch her parent's bodies twisting in agony. She watched as two of the death eaters stripped her mother and raped her. The ringing of the Death Eater's laughter tore her apart. She didn't think she could hate a sound even more...until her mother started screaming. She could feel the need to scream building up inside her but she was unable to release it. She had to watch as they destroyed what her father had been. One curse at a time. The final act was almost in slow motion, she watched the flash of green light leave one of the wands and hit her father in the chest, then the next one from a different wand that hit her mother. Hermione couldn't stop the tears falling, just like she couldn't look away. This couldn't be real. It was too much. They were supposed to be safe. She had caused this. "Poor little Mudblood…" the voice whispered in her ear. "No ones coming to save you…you're all alone…" He paused. Then she felt a pain like a knife move slowly across her back. She felt the blood pooling out. "Crucio" the man muttered then she was screaming with every fibre of her being, every nerve was on fire but as soon as it started it stopped. She fell to the floor in a heap. She heard some shouting then the sound of people apparating away. Someone lifted her up and she immediately started struggling, trying to get away from her captor. _

_"Calm down it's me" The man muttered and Hermione, recognising the voice, stopped struggling and opened her eyes, meeting his. The tears started falling again and she clung to him, sobbing into his shoulder, caught between wanting to get them and wanting to run away and pretend it didn't happen. Holding her close to him like a child and whispering comforts in her ear he apparated them both away._

Hermione left the front room and moved into the kitchen. Everything was as tidy as she'd left it, the same with the rest of the house. Hermione took her time, walking around each room, revelling in the memories she had of each of them. This was the first time she'd been back since she'd come for their bodies. Every time she walked into a room she felt the pain anew again and she didn't leave the room until she felt the pain dim. Then she made her way to the next room, trying to accept that she'd never see her parents in any of the rooms again. She hadn't told anyone about seeing her parents deaths, making it seem like she went for a visit and found them there. He had kept her secret, although unwillingly, but he seemed to understand she just wasn't ready to talk about it. She was dealing with it on her own.

Once she'd been through every room in the house apart from her own she went back to the living room and once again sat down on her father's chair. She wanted to go and visit her parent's graves but she couldn't. She had cast a disguising spell on their graves so Voldemort wouldn't use their bodies to fight her and she couldn't risk being followed. It had felt like betrayal, using false names but once everything was over she would go back and remove the spell, until then she wasn't prepared to go back. She stayed in the chair for an hour. It was only when the clock struck quarter to eight that she remembered the meeting and got up. She would do whatever else it took, but not that, she wouldn't desecrate their memories. Hermione groaned in frustration, she had to do something so she could get into the Dark order; it was going to be difficult enough as it was. She got up left the house, pulling her cloak tighter around her as the cold wind hit her. She reinstated the wards mainly out of habit rather then to protect the house then apparated to the pub.

Hermione stood outside the window and peered in to see if he was there. She couldn't see him, but as the wind continued to blow she decided she might as well go inside and wait. She felt the heat overwhelm her as she entered the room and sighed in relief. She meandered towards one of the seats in the darker section of the pub. It was quite crowded and smoky which made it less likely that she would be noticed if Severus did decide to show up. A waiter came over to her and she ordered a coke. What she really wanted was some butterbeer but they didn't sell it here. When her drink arrived she sipped it, while keeping her eyes peeled, focusing on the door. After about ten minutes a young man entered, ordered a drink and then strode in her direction. She didn't recognise him but something in the way he walked seemed familiar. The man stopped at her table. "Do you mind if I sit here?" He asked smoothly and without waiting for a reply he sat down. Hermione was surprised. Then she understood.

"Hello Severus" she said smiling and the man smiled in return, his features fading away and forming the more familiar ones of the potions master before mutating back to that of the stranger. "You came then" she stated

He smirked.

"Why would I miss the chance to partake in another of our…intriguing discussions?" Hermione smiled and rolled her eyes before sobering up. Severus raised his eyebrows. "I assume you have a more important matter that you need to discuss, rather than just wanting to speak to me?" he said, taking a sip of the drink he had brought over with him.

"Actually I-we need some help." Before she could continue Severus interrupted

"By 'we' I assume you mean the Order?" Hermione nodded then hesitantly continued.

"The thing is… I need to join the Dark Order." She stated bluntly before she could change her mind then added "And you're the only person I think can help me." If it was possible his eyebrows raised even further.

"And why, prey tell, would you want to do that?" Hermione took another sip of her coke.

"It probably hasn't escaped your notice but the Order has been-" She paused again "Well they need a spy and…I thought…"

"Your trust surprises me Miss Granger. What makes you think I did not organise an ambush to capture you or will not go straight to the Dark Lord with this information, as I'm sure your friends believe? I don't know how you managed to convince them-" Hermione blushed and looked down towards her drink. "I thought as much, now what do you think I could do to help you?"

"I don't know. I hoped you would come up with some ideas…" She trailed off as Severus took another sip of his drink. He remained silent. Hermione hoped she hadn't been wrong about him. The silence continued for a few more minutes as the two of them sat in thought. Eventually Hermione spoke up "What if…umm we could…" abandoning her train of thought she fell into silence again, sipping her drink. Severus still didn't say anything, his silence unnerved Hermione and she began to wonder if he really was on her side like she believed.

_Hermione stood in the corner of the dark classroom, panting slightly. Her wand was out and her eyes searching for anything that might give away his whereabouts. "Come out Granger, I know you're there, you can't hide from me" The voice echoed around the room, hiding its source. She decided replying would get her nowhere, and would most likely reveal her position so continued searching silently in the dark. Suddenly a flash of light from the corner opposite her forced her to jump out of the way, but as soon as she'd moved another spell came towards her, more prepared than before she blocked it and sent another one back. This continued for a few more minutes until a spell hit Hermione in the side, freezing her into place as she fell to the floor. Snape stepped out of the shadows and approached her, wand pointed directly at her heart. "Disappointing Miss Granger, I would have expected better from the 'brightest witch of your age' but no matter, it has just made things easier for me. Legimens" Hermione felt the force envelope her mind and try to force inside but she resisted, gradually the attack got more powerful and Hermione struggled to repel it, in a desperate last effort she pushed forward with her mind and broke into the mind attacking her, she must have caught him by surprise as she'd never done it before, a flood of memory's were revealed. His mothers arms, getting the Hogwarts letter, his first day at Hogwarts. They all flashed and faded, unimportant, a memory of Dumbledore's office caught her interest and although she knew she shouldn't she stopped to watch. The attack faltered as Snape now defended his mind, trying to push her away from the memory, but it was too late, she had already passed his defence barriers so she held on, attaching the memory to her and concentrating on what was being said, most of the words were illegible and blurred with the force of Snape's defence but for a moment they cleared and Hermione heard Snape._

_"Do you intend to let him kill you?" and Dumbledore's reply_

_"Certainly not. You must kill me"_

_The shock of that sentence left Hermione so confused she almost lost complete concentration but she was attached to the memory, it was too hard to let go even though she now wanted to, so Hermione found herself watching Snape give a curt nod to Dumbledore's request and that filled her with horror and gave her the strength she needed to wrench away from the connection to the memory finally. She yanked herself from his mind in shock, severing all contact and closed her eyes. When she opened them everything came back into focus. She realised she was able to move again so she stood up shakily and backed away. Snape had moved away from her and was sitting on one of the desks that was somehow back in place, he was looking defeated._

_"You're…you're… going to kill Dumbledore" Hermione managed to force out, he didn't deny it; instead he rested his forehead on his hands._

_"Of all the memories…of all the vast sections of my mind you had to get attached to that one..." he muttered then added quietly "At least it wasn't the worst you could have seen..."_

_"What do you mean not the worst it was pretty bad from what I-" Snapes anger seemed to flare up momentarily._

_"I'm talking about the Dark Lord Miss Granger" He seemed to calm himself enough to say in a resigned voice "I'm sorry…I wish you did not have to share this burden but since you do…I must ask you not to tell anyone of this Miss Granger. You do not know how important this information is and the kind of weight it carries" He lifted his head his dark eyes boring into her chocolate eyes. _

_"But you can't kill him, we'll be crippled without him…!" Hermione continued to open and close her mouth in an attempt to say something else to finish her statement but he spoke first. _

_"Your lesson is over, you may leave." This was a clear dismissal and she didn't want to push him so she turned and did something she hadn't wanted to do in a while, she fled, her thoughts twisting and turning in her head, confusing her and leaving her wondering what she could do._

She should have told them straight away, before Dumbledore died, then they would have believed him. But now the pain was too raw and no-one would believe them. They would think it had been faked and that Severus had only come to them now because he had perfected it. But the memory can't have been false. She was sure of it, everything had been so clear and detailed, except...well some of the words. But everything she had listened to had been clear. Letting that thought go she concentrated on thinking of a way to help the Order, she couldn't afford to stay too long or someone would come looking for her, she'd already been missing for hours. Finally giving up all thoughts of infiltrating the Dark Order for a second and tired of the silence she asked Severus conversationally "I was looking through an old potions book the other day. There were some pretty gruesome ones in it. I saw your name mentioned and I could help but wondering what the most dangerous potion you've ever made is." He looked up from his drink and raised an eyebrow, before accepting her change in the conversation and going into detail about the many dangerous potions he had made.

About two hours later Hermione looked at her watch and decided she had better go. How time had flown. She got to her feet "Thanks for coming, will you at least consider helping me?" Severus looked at her and raised his eyebrow.

"What makes you think that I have the time?" Hermione blushed; he made her feel like such a child sometimes.

"I just thought…well umm goodbye anyway"

"I must be leaving too," he said as he got out of the chair. As they were heading to the door Hermione stopped.

"Why don't you just show them your memory? Then you could come back and…" Severus smiled slightly.

"They would never believe me; they would think I created the memory. Sometimes my reputation and skill work against me Miss Granger, but do not think I have not thought about it." Hermione nodded sadly.

"I suppose. Well goodbye" She withdrew her wand as if to apparate but Severus put a hand on her arm.

"Don't contact me again. It was very foolish, especially as you used Harry's owl. I will contact you soon…within the next few days if possible" And with that he let go and disapparated. Hermione tried to ignore the tingling his touch had given her, instead disapparated back to headquarters, her mind filling with dread at the thought of explaining herself to the Order...and Harry.

**Well this is the end of Chapter Two. Hope you enjoyed! Review if you did! Or if ya didnt... Please Please Please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Not mine...never has been never will be...**

_**Chapter 3 : Apologies**_

Everything was quiet when she appeared in front of Grimmauld place. She spoke the password quietly, got inside then walked along the dark hall carefully. Trying her hardest not to step on anything or trip over. It was essential that she stay quiet The Order meeting was definitely over and after that everyone usually left or went to bed, it almost seemed like everyone hated to linger and socialize. She was kind of glad; she just wasn't in the mood for interrogation or people questioning her. They would only put her down and she didn't think she could take it at the moment. She needed that fact that she was still useful to help her keep going, and the thought that she would be able to avenge Ron, or even find out where he was made her more determined.

It was obvious that Snape was her best bet but she knew the Order would never accept him after Dumbledore's death. Therefore she would have to work with him on her own, in secret. Hermione reached the end of the corridor and was about to start heading up the stairs when the kitchen light came on. She froze. The door opened slowly and there stood Harry, looking like he'd been running his hands repeatedly through his hair. It was all sticking up, more than usual. He looked so tired that Hermione immediately felt bad about the way she had left. "Hermione? Are you ok?" He asked obvious concern etched on his face "I didn't mean to-"

"I know Harry, I'm sorry for storming out, I just…" She faltered, not knowing what else she could say...finally she stumbled on some words. "You should get to bed, you look half dead"

Harry smiled softly."I just wanted to make sure you came back safely…when we couldn't find you…I didn't think you would want to be interrupted" Hermione felt tears come to her eyes. He was trying so hard. Harry continued, a little more upbeat

"So I thought I'd use the time to catch up on my reading" He held up what looked like another old, heavy, difficult book. At this another twinge of guilt ran through her. Harry didn't get enough sleep as it was without her giving him more reason to stay up. He headed towards her, pausing to give her a quick, comforting hug before continuing up the stairs.

"I'm sorry Harry" she blurted out. He looked down from the steps,

"Its ok, I know you are". Hermione had just turned away when he spoke again

"Hermione, it was you who destroyed the portrait wasn't it?"

Hermione blanked then said without faltering "No, it wasn't" His eyes bore into her questioningly but she managed to hold the look steadily.

"Ok, I believe you, but Hermione, you'd better have learned from your mistakes, we can't afford any more mess ups ok? I need to know we can rely on you"

"You can"

"Good. And there's a raid on in a few days. So there won't be many people around-"

"Can I-"

"No, it's not a good idea, not after last time. You'll stay here and help injured members that return" Hermione nodded.

He continued away then seemed to remember something. "Hermione, the Order discussed it and we think more noticeable members of the Order like you need to go out in a disguise if you leave at any point during the day. If you weren't doing so already" And with that he left her standing there.

The next morning Hermione got up as soon as she opened her eyes. She got dressed and headed down the stairs cautiously, listening for the tell-tale murmurings that would let her know if there was an Order meeting on. Everything was silent but just to be sure she checked the dining room where they usually had the meetings. It was deserted so she continued on to the kitchen. She sighed. Everything was quiet but she didn't mind, she made herself some toast and coffee and sat down to read the newspaper that Kreacher brought in every morning for Harry.

Harry emerged into the kitchen a couple of hours later when the sunlight was just starting to stream through the windows and Hermione handed him the newspaper as she got up to get him something to eat. He took the newspaper but held his hand up when she started preparing food. "There's no need to do that, I'm not hungry," Hermione continued pouring him some coffee as if she hadn't heard him. She wasn't the best cook but whenever Kreacher made him something and Harry didn't eat or finish it, he punished himself without Harry knowing; the third time Hermione caught him ironing his ears she decided she would be the one to make Harry's meals and make sure he ate them.

This was another reason Kreacher wasn't too keen on Hermione. There had been an unfortunate incident where he attempted to slip something in Harry's food. It had caused an outrage among the present Order members and several wands were drawn. Instead of punishing the elf Harry had protected him from the angry people. That and Harry's continuous kindness and understanding caused a radical change where all Kreacher wanted to do was please his master. The problem was, Hermione was there doing the jobs as well. She knew she shouldn't but she couldn't bare to sit around doing nothing while the house elf did all the work. She placed the eggs, bacon and coffee in front of Harry

"Eat" She said, hands on her hip.

"Yes Mrs Weasley" He smirked into his coffee mug. Blushing, Hermione immediately removed her hands from her hips and sat down on the chair next to him huffily. Plucking the newspaper from his hands and silencing him with a glare when he objected.

There was silence for a few minutes as she continued to read. "Another one of the Unspeakables have disappeared today, that's the third one this month" She muttered more to herself than to Harry. She put the newspaper down again, not wanting to read about any more disappearances or deaths. She wished Harry wouldn't read the news every morning, she knew how guilty he felt. He said he only did it to be kept up to date with Voldemort's movements. Since they only had a couple of minor spies it was the best place to get information. But Hermione thought otherwise. She sat at the table watching him thoughtfully until he had finished his breakfast. Finally realising she was staring she got up to leave.

"Sit down Hermione" She did as she was told, trying to avoid making eye contact with his powerful green eyes, instead staring at the table. "Where did you go yesterday?" there was a pause while she tried to find the words but Harry got there first "There?" and Hermione nodded. Not trusting her nearly overflowing tears not to fall. "Did you sort-?" Hermione nodded again, still staring at the table as if it was fascinating her, her fingers tracing the scars of the wooden table. Her nails scratching little indentations of her own. This table had seen so much.

"I know it's hard 'mione and I'm sorry for suggesting what I did when your still getting over loosing them… You know I didn't mean to upset you." He reached out and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. She couldn't help herself, she looked up and instantly saw the pain in his eyes and the guilt wash over her again. He was too young to have to deal with this, they all were. She forced a smile onto her face.

"Harry it's my fault…don't blame yourself… I overreacted I'm sorry" She got up. "Do you know when the next Order meeting will be?" He shrugged

"I'm not sure…in a couple of day's time. Any more than that and we're wasting time, we need someone on the inside as soon as possible…" Hermione nodded

"I understand, I'm going to look for any possible way but... if I don't find anything by the time the next Order meeting takes place…we'll work from your idea. Is that..does that sound ok?" Harry looked up at her empathetically.

"I'll let you know when the next Order mee-" A thought popped into Hermione's head and she interrupted him

"Can the memory block be removed?" Harry's look said more than his words could.

"No" he said gently. Hermione managed a small smile, but that didn't stop her heart shattering

"Thought not" she turned to leave when Harry spoke again.

"I won't be into today; I've got some…stuff to do."

"Are you going on your own? Do you want me to come with you?" The words slipped out before she could stop them, so desperate was she to do something useful.

His reply was curt and blunt "No"

His answer was like a kick in the gut. "You're not going alone are you?"

"Charlie said he would come with me" Hermione felt her heart sink slightly, she wouldn't be seeing him today then. But at least Harry wasn't going off on his own. That would be plain stupid.

* * *

Hermione tried to keep herself occupied during the day, cleaning, researching, cooking, anything to keep her mind from turning to what was going to have to be done if she couldn't find a way to get into Voldemort's ranks. It was going to be incredibly difficult, mostly because she was one of Harry's best friends (she refused to think she was only one). But that could be used…he would suspect she would get more information than any other spy perhaps... By the time that noon arrived she was out of things to do, Harry had disappeared for the day and Hermione had no idea where he was or when he would be back. The silence of the house seemed deafening, she tried putting some music on but the sound echoed through the empty house so Hermione quickly switched it off and the unnerving silence returned. About two o'clock she heard someone come through the door and she quickly left her bedroom, eager for any social interaction. "Charlie" She squealed when she saw him, running straight to his arms.

He chuckled. "Hello Hermione"

She pulled away. "What are you doing here? I thought you'd be with Harry…" Charlie just shook his head looking slightly confused.

"That wasn't me, I didn't have any work so I thought I'd come and spend time with you" Hermione answered by throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him fiercely. He kissed back, his arms wound around her waist pulling her against him. Eventually Hermione had to break away to breathe, but she didn't pull away. "Upstairs?" he muttered his voice slightly husky. Hermione raised her eyebrow, and Charlie started kissing her neck. "Don't worry" He whispered, "I know your not ready yet" his breath brushed against her skin and Hermione shuddered slightly as small shivers of pleasure went up her spine. He pulled his head away from her neck and brought her lips to his again, forcefully kissing her, parting her lips with his tongue. One of his hands moving from her waist up to her breast and caressing gently, by this time Hermione was starting to feel unsteady on her feet, breaking away for a brief second she whispered

"Upstairs" Charlie grinned wickedly. Picking her up and ignoring her sequels of protest he headed up the stairs. With more ease and speed than she could have managed in this state. He reached her room in what seemed to be record time and placed her on her bed, lying down next to her on his side, propped up on his elbow, watching her. His hand reached forward, stroking her face softly and brushing some strands of hair from her face before his hand moved down, following the curves of her body, pausing every now and again to trace little circles, his fingers stopped as they reached the waistband of her jeans, tracing the skin underneath her top. His touch light and teasing, soon Hermione couldn't take it any more, she reached forward, pulling him closer, crashing her lips to his again, needing more contact. Before she knew it he was on top of her, her legs wrapped around his waist.

* * *

Later that afternoon Hermione found herself alone again. It was starting to get dark now and she felt the familiar edge of worry start filling her mind. Harry should have been back by now, or at least sent a message, she couldn't believe he had lied to her, Charlie hadn't known anything about it. They had talked about it briefly after their makeout session, before he had to leave again. Harry obviously wanted to do whatever it was on his own, but why? Order members had started the usual entering and leaving routine but none of them could tell her anything about Harry. She had given up. So now she was sitting in her room in the dark and staring out of the window, she could barely see anything apart from the street lamps but she liked watching people apparating to and from. She felt so utterly and totally useless and trapped, trapped by this house, trapped by her mind, trapped by the Order. Now she knew how Sirius had felt. She wanted to go out and _do_ something, but there was nothing to do. What was strange was that she really wanted to talk to Severus, she'd missed their talks when he'd gone over to the 'Dark' side. It had always been much more interesting talking to him than Harry and…Ron. It wasn't as if she didn't like talking to them but it just wasn't the same. When they were younger it was always about sports and as they grew up…more serious matters but with Severus…his intelligence shone in discussions and his opinions so strong she could talk to him for hours.

She sighed and got up, unable to sit still any more. She headed out of her room and down the stairs in time to see Remus come in through the door looking very haggard. "How did it go?" She asked. He smiled tiredly at her.

"Not as well as I'd hoped…but some progress was made…I think" He looked disappointed.

"Its ok, at least you made progress. Are you hungry?" Remus just shook his head.

"I don't think I could eat anything at the moment"

"Are you sure?" Hermione took in his frail looking form.

"Yes, I've got to go out again now anyway, I just needed to speak to Harry, is he back yet?" Hermione shook her head.

"He hasn't been in all day; he didn't tell me where he went" Remus looked slightly concerned at that statement and Hermione's worry took root again.

"Well, never mind, I'll stop by later" She watched him leave and then headed towards the dining room, hearing voices from inside. She didn't want to go back upstairs. Two aurors sat at one end of the table, papers spread in front of them. She recognised them so, eager for conversation she headed towards them.

"What are these?" she asked the nearest one to her, Tom Davies his name was, he was quite a new auror, a few years older than she was but he didn't look it. With his bright blue eyes and messy blonde hair he looked young and naive. Davis jumped when he heard her voice, obviously engrossed in his work but the other auror just continued on, ignoring her. Davis ran a hand through his hair. Seeming flustered.

"Well...uhh...we've been trying to work out what muggle villages he will plan to attack, going by the ones he has attacked and the ones that he may think hold non-magical relatives. But we don't seem to be getting anywhere," Hermione moved round so she was behind the desk looking over their shoulders. The papers were mostly charts and maps with dots all over them. "Red signify where he had attacked, blue where our sources have said there will be attacks and yellow where we think he will target" Hermione couldn't help but notice that there were an awful lot of red dots compared to the yellow dots, and very few blue dots. She could understand his frustration.

"What makes you think he will attack all these places here and not there?" she asked gesturing to a small gathering off yellow dots, quite closely packed together and then to an area where there where no dots at all. He pointed to the area with no dots.

"Over here there is a magical town bang in the centre, we don't think he wants to encounter resistance as quickly as these witches and wizards could give it and over here there are no watch posts for miles therefore it would be harder to call for re-enforcements." Hermione continued to stare at the map.

"But wouldn't he want to target the place near the magical town? That was he could capture some of them, I'm sure they would be more use to him than the muggles"

"I suppose" Davies muttered, "But he would probably think that all the non-magical relatives would be placed away from other magical towns so to draw less attention to them"

"But that would just leave them open to attack wouldn't it?" Davis sighed slightly but continued to explain

"Not exactly because Order members are always near by the relatives to protect them if necessary" Hermione was eager to learn about the relatives protecting scheme because she had not trusted any one else to look after her parent but her, and that hadn't worked at all.

"But wouldn't you know who be able to tell where the relatives were hiding by the Order members that patrolled and protected them?"

"The watchers are hidden from view at all times so it's impossible to know they're there unless you know for certain."

"He would know before he moved because he has spies" Finally Davis seemed to give up and just gave her a small smile, admitting defeat. Hermione barely noticed, she was thinking about her parents. She was pretty much convinced that this system would not have saved them either, which seemed to make her guilt and grief over loosing them a little bit easier to bare. She decided to leave Davis alone to his work and went to start preparing dinner for the guests before heading up to her room to wait some more for Severus's letter . She stayed awake late into the night, each passing hour made it more certain that she wasn't going to get a letter. It made her despair; she had been so sure that he would have been able to help her. She drifted off into a doze, thinking about her parents and Harry's plan. There was no guarantee that the idea would work, so she would end up without her parents even more so than now and she would still be off no help to the Order.

* * *

She awoke from her doze at the sound of the door slamming then the faint sound of someone cursing. Hermione immediately headed downstairs to find out who it was, the Order members that came in at this time of night usually needed assistance so Hermione had placed a charm in her room that allowed her to hear people coming and going after a certain time, which could be quite annoying when there was a mission that didn't require fighting and they came to Headquarters to meet up. As Hermione came down the stairs she noticed the kitchen light on so that was where she headed straight away. When she slowly opened to door the sight horrified her, there was Harry, sitting on a chair, covered in blood and taking off his outer layers. He jumped as she came in. "Harry, What the hell happened to you?" Harry tried to smile.

"I'm fine Hermione, its not as bad as it looks" Now that he was facing her she could see a gash along the side of his face where a lot of the blood seemed to come from. She whipped out her wand but Harry got there first, sealing the cut quickly. "Go back to bed Hermione, there's nothing wrong with me" as he said this he got to his feet continued to pull off his bloody layers, letting them fall to the floor in a messy heap. When he was left with just a thin t-shirt on he sat down again and Hermione saw that it was clean of blood, meaning it was as he'd said, he was fine.

"I'm not leaving you until you tell me what have you been all day. Everyone's been worried." As if to prove her point she slammed the door behind her and walked over to the seat opposite him.

He sighed and rubbed his tired eyes, "I was following a Death Eater to try and find out some information when he heard me and attacked. I managed to get a few of the names of the towns and villages he's planning to attack before that happened though." His averted eyes made Hermione sense he wasn't telling the whole truth but she let it pass. She didn't want to force information out of him. He would just close up.

"So that's his blood then?" Hermione asked referring to the blood stained clothes. Harry nodded,

"I'm not sure if I killed him, but he was badly hurt when I left" She didn't bother to ask why he had not finished the job, she knew he hated killing and the Death Eater was no longer a threat.

"Did you obliviate him?" Harry nodded;

"Of course, I didn't want Voldemort to know we knew about the attacks and then change his plans so were left in the dark again. We can't afford that Hermione." He eyes were shining brightly. "I'm going to call an Order meeting tomorrow before the raid" Hermione's eyes lowered in understanding. Trying to hide the pain his words were causing her. "But the only matters we will discuss will be how to stop the raids, and we need to go over the plan." Hermione felt her heart lift, she still had time. Harry got to his feet, "I'm going to go and get some sleep Hermione, try and do the same." Hermione stayed where she was.

"I saw Charlie today" The statement made him turn round.

"I'm sorry for lying, it was just something I had to do by myself" His eyes asked for forgiveness and Hermione found herself willingly giving it.

"Just don't do it again please Harry, I don't want to lose you as well" He nodded then headed forward and took her hand, pulling her gently out of her seat where she had remained sitting.

"Come on 'mione" he said softly and Hermione obeyed. Together they made their way up the stairs.

* * *

The next morning Hermione woke up to the unusual silence of the house. Normally there was at least one person pottering about but this morning...nothing. Slightly unnerved she quickly climbed out of bed and got dressed before quickly brushing her teeth and heading downstairs. There was no one there; even as she searched she couldn't find Harry or any of the other Order members. _He's probably gone of gallivanting alone again…_she thought bitterly to herself. Just then she remembered Harry saying about the information he had found, he would have a list somewhere she knew it. She started to search. It didn't take long, the names were neatly written on a piece of parchment on the kitchen table. Hermione picked it up and scanned the names. The first one was dated today. So that's where everybody was. None of the names seemed familiar so taking the list she headed to the dining room to find the map she knew Davies had left. It was right where she remembered it to be. Hermione sat down at the table and began to locate the places and placing blue markers on them, more than doubling the amount of dots, also on Harry's list where the days on which the attacks were planning to be made.

How had Harry got this information so easily? There had to be something more to it. But if he didn't want to tell her, then she obviously didn't need to know. Of course that didn't mean she didn't want to know. She returned her concentration to the map, trying to figure out how he was selecting his targets, eventually she gave up, he just seemed to select them all randomly. What more could you expect from a mad man. She got up off the seat and went to wander around the house some more, hoping to find some clue about when they would be back. There was nothing. All she could do was wait. And that's what she did, until eventually she became fed up and headed to the library to do some research. Hopefully she wouldn't just be sitting around doing nothing for much longer. She was fed up of being treated so breakable. But that was soon going to change. One mistake had changed the way people treated her, it was amazing how fast people could fall. Now she knew a little about how Harry had felt.

At about three o'clock the owl came, but it wasn't until Hermione left the library at about ten past to get a snack did she finally hear the tapping. Abandoning all thoughts of food she ran up the few stairs separating her from her room and let the owl in hurriedly. Hoping it was from Severus. It was short and did not contain much information but it got the flare of hope inside her again. It read:-

_Miss Granger_

_As you wished I have done some research into the topic you required. I believe I have an obtainable answer, but the results are unsure as it is a solution of my own making. I require your presence at the same time and same place tomorrow evening to explain further._

Of his own making? Did that mean he had created a spell not merely discovered it? She wouldn't put it past him, she had been labelled the brightest witch of her age but she was certain she would never reach the intelligence or creative level of her professor. Not that it stopped her trying. She quickly released the owl and folded the note, sliding it into her pocket for safekeeping. It would only be a couple of hours until they returned, Harry never liked to hold Order meetings late, and they needed one today if they were going to sort any plans out for tomorrow. With that comforting thought in mind she turned back to the library to continue her research on where the Lord held his prisoners. She planned on asking Severus that tomorrow night, but if she knew him at all, she probably wouldn't get any answers. But she'd had enough of waiting, if Ron was still alive, he needed to be found, soon. She was running out of time.

About four hours later Hermione was starting to worry. Even if the after math of the raid was still being carried out. Someone would be back. She was about to pace back to her seat when heard the door open and she immediately leaped down the stairs to see who it was. There in the doorway stood Remus. He looked like he could barely stand up so Hermione rushed to his aid, helping him through to the dining room. The seats were much more comfortable there than in the kitchen. When he was seated Hermione quickly went into the cupboard and found a couple of potions to help with the pain, after making the reluctant werewolf drink them she healed him cuts quickly, they were only shallow, the real damage seemed to be internal which the potions took care of. All the way through her fussing Remus insisted that he was fine, but Hermione purposely ignored him, continuing with her work.

When Hermione was finally satisfied she quickly made a cup of tea and placed it in his hands. Then she sat herself on the edge of the sofa next to him. Trying to look calm but she couldn't stop her hands nervously playing with her trousers. She stared at him patiently, waiting for an explanation. Eventually Remus seemed to realise he wasn't leaving until Hermione knew what had happened so he started to go into a detailed account that had her blood running cold.

Some key Order members had received a tip concerning the whereabouts of the prisoners that the Dark Lord held captive a day or so ago. So a select group had headed there to search for captives and of course Death Eaters while others went to counteract the raid. About twenty people had gone to follow up the tip including Harry, Charlie and Remus. They had found the place scarcely guarded which had alerted most of them to the option of an ambush. They had explored, finding nothing but what appeared to be an abandoned building. About to leave the building they heard the screams and cries of help from what sounded like one of the captives, so the group had continued on carefully. They followed the screaming, disabling the many, but weak wards that blocked their way. When they finally reached the source it was to see a black robed figure with a mask torturing what was later proved to be a muggle. The black robed figure was immediately disarmed and thrown against the wall. It wasn't until the hood fell from his face did they realise who it was.

The 'missing' Ron Weasley.

The group had stared shocked until Ron had started to laugh, this seemed to be a signal and the other Death Eaters had attacked. There was only a small band of them and none of the Order members were seriously hurt. The Death Eaters had still gotten away though. Leaving their one hysterical member behind. Because of who he was the minister wanted to make an example of him. Ron was immediately taken to the ministry where he was thoroughly examined to see if his body contained any potions and if any lasting hexes were on him. Finding him free of noticeable spells they continued by questioning him, it didn't take long for the interviewers to see that he was acting of his own accord. He refused to say why and seemed pleased about the damage he had done to the muggle. He was then put on trial and sentenced, and taken away. This was all within the space of the few hours Hermione had been sitting idle. Most of the Order had attended the trial but it was decided that Hermione should remain behind due to her 'emotional connections' the same would have been arranged for Harry if he hadn't been so important and intent on going. Remus looked into her tear filled eyes. Now she knew why he had been the first to come back. No one else wanted to break the news. She knew what was coming before the words left his mouth but they were still like rocks in her heart.

"I'm sorry Hermione, he's been sentenced to life in Azkaban"

**Another Chapter done and dusted, hope you enjoyed. Tell me what you think about the whole 'Ron being evil?' thing. Review :P**

**XxZipxX**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry about the wait, I had the next few chapters written out but the only copy I had got lost. So I had to re-write it.**

**Chapter 4: Betrayal**

Hermione lay awake later that night, the darkness and emptiness that she craved yet only could achieve with sleep eluded her. After Remus had left, she had still been in shock. But she put on a brave face, told him she would be fine. He had almost decided to stay but he must have sensed her need to be alone. She didn't want to be around anyone at that point, not after the extent of their betrayal. Because that's how she saw it, everyone had seen the effect Ron's disappearance had on her. Yet they didn't even tell her...So when he left she went straight up to her room and locked the door, ignoring the faint sounds of people arriving a little while later. At some point someone came to her door looking for her, she had no idea who, but the person left soon after when they got no answer. Her cheeks remained dry, yet she wished she could cry, but she had shed so many tears for those she loved she was beginning to think she'd lost the ability. None of her Occlumency could stop the memories that seemed to be flooding before her eyes. Happy memories mostly, and although she didn't want to see them she found herself searching desperately for any sign that he wanted to change sides, that he hated people like her, but she found nothing but then she remembered. There had been one night not so long ago...

_The wind was howling outside, the branches of the trees were clawing at the windows but the storm didn't bother Hermione. Not since Ron had arrived, and now she lay quite comfortably snuggled up to him. For the moment forgetting her grief about her parent's death. Their conversation was quite animated, Ron was describing the raid he'd been on earlier that day but a sudden crash from outside shocked him into silence and when he spoke again his voice was quite different. And his eyes focussed on something in the darkness, or in his head that Hermione couldn't see. "You ever think that...actually never mind" Hermione's curiosity was sparked._

_"What?" she asked. Ron avoided looking at her still staring into the blackness. His voice was slow and steady when he replied, but there was also another emotion beneath it that she couldn't quite place._

_"You ever think...it's not worth fighting anymore..."_

_Hermione stared at him, he still didn't look at her. "Why would I think that? It's unimaginable...the things they do-" Now Ron did look at her and Hermione suddenly wished it was light so she could see his expression...and not just the look in his eyes as he interrupted her, it slightly disturbed her._

_His words were rushed now. "What if it's not as bad as we've been lead to think...I mean you should have seen them today 'mione, they were so fast and powerful... I didn't think we would win..." his voice was lowered to a exited whisper by the end of this, but then he seemed to realise what he was saying and his tone turned slightly more apologetic. "I'm just tired of all the death 'mione...i just want it all to end..." Hermione was at a loss of what to say but eventually she found some words. "Ron...he wants to get rid of all muggleborns...like me, he's killed so many people..."_

_"And we haven't?"_

_"That's not the point Ron, Harry doesn't have a family because of that...thing I mean-"_

_"I know I know...and I would never want to be separated from you guys" Ron was looking away from her now his voice was just sad. "I don't know what I'm talking about 'mione. I'm just tired of the constant fear" his voice started to turn desperate "Everyone has their weak moments 'mione. The dark gets to you..."_

_"I guess so..." Hermione was still doubtful but she let it go, this conversation was best forgotten. Her sleep was not easy that night, images of Ron in Death Eater robes haunted her...though she knew he would never do anything, would never hurt her like that. He was right, everyone had their weak moments._

At some point Hermione must have drifted off because she woke up the next morning to the brightness of the day, she must have forgotten to close her curtains last night. All it took was a quick flick of her wand and the curtains flew shut, enclosing the room in complete darkness once again, which was exactly how she wanted it. She just wanted to lie in the silence and wallow in her emptiness.

This didn't last very long as she was interrupted by a knocking on her door. Hermione pulled the cover over her head, waiting for the person to go away. She was all set to cast a silencing charm and ignore whoever it was when she heard the soft voice."'mione...open the door" it made her go cold and she felt anger building up inside her. She kept her mouth shut, and then the voice came again.

"Hermione please come out, we need to talk" Hermione couldn't take it. Then a sense of calm overcame her. And she threw the covers off and felt round the darkness for her clothes before throwing them on, Harry seemed to hear the noise and had shut up. Next she grabbed a potion from under her bed and gulped it down before storing another in her pocket. Only then did she open the door. A look of surprise came across Harry's face; he knew she never usually gave in that easily. But Hermione didn't stop to look at him, she brushed straight past him as if he wasn't there but that didn't seem to faze him. "Hermione wait..." She continued to ignore him, heading down the stairs swiftly.

She managed to get to the door without anyone else trying to talk to her, one look from her murderous brown eyes sent them scattering like rats. She just placed her hand on the door when someone grabbed her other arm. "Hermione we need to talk about this" Her voice was quiet and controlled when she spoke. "Let go of my arm Harry"

He didn't. "Mione please you don't know how sorry-"

Her voice was still a quite murmur but her tone was warning. "I don't want your apologies Harry. Now let go of my arm, before I make you" She kept her eyes away from him, as her calm interior shook, she had wanted tears but not now, she couldn't show them she was weak, she needed to get away. Thankfully he let go and she heard him take a step back. She sighed slightly with relief and opened the door, feeling the heat of the sun and the briskness of the wind on her skin. She barely noticed the change in height and body the polyjuice potion caused as she walked away, stopping just outside the boundaries and swiftly turning and apparating away in the shade of some trees.

When she arrived it was the silence that hit her the most and when she opened her eyes it was to see a beautiful forest, the sunlight could hardly reach the ground here, and Hermione felt detached, distanced, lost. And away from all the problems in her life, it seemed to her in the cool shadows that here, she couldn't be watched…couldn't be judged. She was all alone, and it felt good. Then the silence started allowing thoughts in, thoughts and memories that felt like they wanted to claw themselves out of her, they filled her with hate and anguish and it just kept building up. Then, she finally lost control. She found herself running and a scream tore itself through her lips, so tortured and broken that any creature hidden is the safety of the trees and the ground could hear her pain. She found herself clawing at anything that stood in her path and tears ran unchecked down her once dry face. She cried for her parents, for Ron, for herself, she screamed for every injustice that had ruined her childhood and broken her heart piece by piece, until it felt like there was hardly any left to give away. Once the friends had been good enough to counter the realisation, she felt she could do anything as long as she had them by her side, but Ron was gone and now she was loosing Harry to. Loosing him as he tried to protect her, but instead making her feel like she was an item to be protected rather than a friend to fight with. It was suffocating her. Finally exhaustion forced her to fall to her knees, her brunette locks were back and she let them cover her face as she ran her hands through her hair. Clutching it almost hysterically as her tears shook her small body. How could they do this to her? What had she done?

* * *

The silence, when it came over the forest again, was sudden and left the air feeling empty. Only the dimming light shining through the trees alerted her to the passing time and when she finally stood she was in control. That was it, she'd had enough. Her emotions were not going to get in the way anymore, she had work to do. With that decision made she spun around on her heels and apparated to the meeting place. When she arrived she noticed she was early, so she quickly found a seat, ignoring the looks people occasionally gave her. She knew she must look a right state but somehow she didn't care. She sat staring into the depth of her drink, occasionally glancing up for anyone that could be Severus. He must be late, as if to prove her point she glanced at the clock behind her, five minutes past eight. Maybe she'd gotten here sooner than she thought. She sighed and turned back to her drink, wishing for something stronger, but she didn't want to risk it. Finally when she'd just finished her second drink, her searching eyes noticed a man walk through the door, his features were unremarkable but the way he walked seemed familiar, and when he glanced around and started heading towards her she knew it must be him. He slid down into the seat opposite.

"Sorry I'm late I was somewhat...delayed" Hermione nodded,

"Its fine, now what do you have to tell me?"

"It will be easier to show as well as tell you Miss Granger if you will just give me a moment" Hermione nodded again. It wasn't like she was in a hurry to go back, the curiosity on the other hand was eating away at her. So she returned staring at her drink, she was interrupted from her thoughts by Severus reaching forward and plucking something from her hair, a branch.

"You know you will gain unwanted attention in such a state, what have you been doing with yourself?"

Hermione continued staring, then said "I went for a walk in the woods, didn't know it was that bad" she glanced up to see Severus raising his eyebrow but he left it at that and they continued to drink in silence. Hermione wanted to open her mouth and just blurt everything out and interrogate him about Ron but she didn't think that was professional, and she didn't think she could handle the complete truth. So she kept her mouth shut. Finally Severus set his drink down and looked at the clock.

"I think it's about time we left" He got to his feet, and Hermione followed his example.

"Where are we going?" she asked quietly as they headed outdoors. After the warmth of the pub the cold wind hit her like a slap in the face. Severus just continued walking; Hermione could see that the Polyjuice potion he had used was beginning to fade. When they had walked a fair distance away he stopped and gestured for her to come closer. Hermione was strangely reluctant to walk forwards. "Cant you just tell me where we're going? I can apparate" Severus just smiled.

"It is not a place you have been before. We are going to my manor and I am the only one that can apparate in and out." Seeing her still hesitate he sighed, "Miss Granger, had I wanted to betray or harm you then I would have already done so now come" Hermione blushed ashamedly and reluctantly walked within his reach. He quickly pulled her close to him with one of his arms and whispered in her ear "There that wasn't so difficult now was it?" Then she felt the squeezing sensation and she automatically closed her eyes. When she felt solid ground underneath her feet, buckled slightly and she felt the arm around her waist tighten to hold her up then a slight breeze alerted her to his sudden departure from her side and opened her eyes to see what appeared to be a handsome manor, she turned to the source of the voice that suddenly spoke. "This way" she caught the hint of a smirk on his lips before he turned and started leading the way up to the dark house.

The walk was quite silent which just gave Hermione time to go over things in her head, and also time for the anticipation and expectation of what she was about to see build up. She knew she trusted Severus when he said he'd found a way but there was still a small part of her that worried that something might go wrong and she would be back to square one. After what seemed like ages they were finally outside the house, and by now she was close enough to hear that Snape was muttering as he walked. He must have a lot of enchantments on this place she thought. When they walked through the door Snape didn't bother to turn any lights on, just continued on, up the stairs and along a hallway that was panelled with dark wood, but it was hard to make out details. She could however, see the doors that lined the hallway, all dark and menacing, and she couldn't help but wondering what would happen to her if she tried to get in. She shuddered at the thought, and then nearly bumped into Severus who was standing outside one of the doors. He had started muttering again then opened the door and stepped through, and continued walking to a door on the side of the room, Hermione glanced around, there was a large bookcase lining one of the walls and a desk sitting in front of the door that was now standing open.

"My study" Severus said dismissively then headed through the open door "This way" Hermione followed arriving in time to see him flicking his wand to light the candles that aligned the circular walls. Her intelligent brown eyes darted around the room, taking in the wall of books, ingredients and potions with fascination before moving her gaze to the potions that were dotted around the room. She couldn't resist going to see what they were and she wasn't stopped. The first few potions were pretty easy to guess. Healing potion, Veritaserum and most impressively Felix Felicis, and on closer examination Hermione found that it had been brewed perfectly. Moving on to the other side of the room and bypassing the potion in the middle Snape seemed to be stirring, she tried to identify the next two but found it extremely difficult. They seemed to be a combination of potions and Hermione found it difficult to establish what ones they were.

"Any ideas Miss Granger?" the voice startled her out of her thoughts.

"Umm. Well those three over there" she pointed "are easily identified. Healing Potion, Veritaserum and Felix Felicis" She paused and looked again into the depth of the potion she was staring at. "But these two…" a frown of concentration came on her face as she tried to figure it out. "Well this one seems to have the scent and steam of Amortentia but the colour is all wrong…it reminds me of Adduco Oblivio…"

"My my Miss Granger, you really are the brightest witch of your age, it is in fact both of those" Hermione smiled at the familiar compliment. "You combined them?" She asked and Severus nodded. "But that-I mean you told us in class-"

"Miss Granger do you think I would have told a class of third years that they could combine potions? They would have gotten some ideas in their heads and the act is very delicate, and makes the brewing of Felix Felicis seem simple" The smirk was back. Hermione smiled, thinking back to her third year self, thinking she could do anything. He had a point. Hermione's curiosity was even more established now, and she headed towards the centre potion. This must be the one Snape intended her to use.

"So what is this one?" Snape appeared beside her so close that he could whisper in her ear.

"I'm sure you could figure it out for yourself Miss Granger" Hermione moved away slightly startled but tried to blend the movement in with examining the potion. She stared for a minute then cleared her throat.

"Right umm…the texture reminds me of a polyjuice potion…with the final ingredient added…" She smiled to herself and the memories that arose at the mention of the name, before sadness filled her at the thought that they would never have an adventure together again. She was silent for a moment then braced herself to speak again "But I think that this light mist on the surface, and I'm guessing the taste… implies the Memoria Ingenero. Am I close?" Realisation of the possibilities this potion would have if she was correct filled her with hope, and awe. It was genius.

"Congratulations Miss Granger…once again you have proved yourself an apt student. This is what I think you should use" Hermione smiled softly in relief.

"Is it ready yet?"

"I'm afraid not, a few more days perhaps. But for now Miss Granger, I think it is time for you to return home"

"That place is not my home, it is my prison" Hermione hissed without thinking. Snape looked at her questioningly. But she turned away and sighed. "I suppose so"

"I will show you the way" and with that he brushed past her and out through the door, Hermione followed reluctantly.

The journey back to the apparition spot seemed to be a lot shorter than when she had walked up, although a different kind of anticipation was filling her this time. But the fear of the response she would have to deal with at headquarters was nothing compared to the new hope filling her, she wasn't going to listen to Harry and follow his rules if they denied her the things she needed to survive and left her useless. That would be worse than dying, especially after Ron. It had certainly given her a perspective on how important she was to their decisions, actions and plans. Severus walked beside her, as silent and deep in thought as she was. When he touched her arm to signal her to stop, she was so startled she jumped, earning a small chuckle from him.

"You should be able to apparate from here" Hermione nodded and took her wand out. Just as she was about to leave she lowered her wand and looked at the stationary Snape.

"Thank you, you don't know how much this means to me, but before I go can I ask one question?"

Snape smirked slightly, "You can ask, but I don't guarantee an answer" He must have thought I was going to ask about Ron but she wasn't ready for that answer.

"Who will I be impersonating?" it was a perfectly logical question but Snape seemed slightly taken aback. He turned to face the black landscape on which his house sat and Hermione thought he wasn't going to answer. But then his voice carried by the winds so softly she found it hard to establish whether she had heard it or not reached her ears before he started walking away.

"My sister"


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer : Nope**

**Chapter five – Enough**

When Hermione arrived at Headquarters she was relieved the see the dark building standing before her, Harry obviously hadn't waited for her to return tonight. Good for him, she was too preoccupied with her thoughts to bother with another argument tonight. She hated seeing the hurt and confusion in his emerald eyes. When she turned on him, he didn't understand why, couldn't see what he was doing to her. A soft sigh escaped her and she rubbed her forehead, when had things gotten so complicated. Hermione stood there for a few seconds, staring at the house and all it stood for before taking the first few laborious steps. It was only then she realized how tired she was. Her body seemed to ache all over from the 'adventure' in the forest and she was mentally exhausted. Slowly she made her way to her bed (Why did there have to be so many stairs?). When her head finally hit the soft pillow she closed her pain filled eyes and drifted off.

She didn't sleep for long; she woke with a start a few hours later, immediately sitting up bolt right. Her eyes frantically darted around the room, her wand clenched in her hand although she couldn't remember it getting there. She could have sworn she heard a noise. She paused, hyper aware of the movement of her chest and the beating of her heart. The only sounds disturbing the silence of the room, but that couldn't have been right. Something had woken her. She slipped noiselessly out of bed. Her bare feet barely touching the floor as she headed out of the door and down the stairs, determined to find the source of her disturbance. Her wand stayed ready in her hand, a curse on the tip of her tongue. When she reached the bottom of the stairs she noticed the kitchen light was on, somebody must have come in and not alerted her wards. Only a few people knew how to do that, and she was now morbidly curious. She took a few cautious steps forward lining herself up with a gap in the door, what she saw surprised and worried her. It was Harry, once again covered in blood that wasn't his. What was going on with him? Satisfied that there was no intruder and reluctant to alert him to her presence she practically ran back upstairs into her room. The adrenaline had gone but she could still fell the rapid beating of her heart. The overall experience had awakened feelings she hadn't had in ages. The thrill of the fight, and it had made her feel more alive then she had since Ron's betrayal. She wanted to experience it again. And she would…tomorrow. She was sure there was some sort of raid. That is if she remembered the dots correctly, but she had never doubted her memory on facts before. It wouldn't be hard to sneak in with the rest. Whether they like it or not, they needed her, and whether they liked it or not…they were going to get her.

That morning she got up early to prepare. Making herself a full breakfast but hardly touching it. How was she going to do this? The dots had been checked and she was right about the raid. But what if they decided not to come back here or what if they did and she missed it. It was most likely planned for the evening but she couldn't be certain. She would just keep her distance; it would be easier if they still thought she was mad. She chuckled softly; the sound echoing around the empty kitchen, mad was no way described her feelings. Her fingers traced around the rim of the cup and she stared into her coffee. Furious, hurt, degraded, broken were more like it, her hand clenched the cup, her knuckles turning white with the pressure. Then she slowly released the cup. No more losing control of emotion. She had promised herself. She got to her feet, ready to disappear upstairs and practice when the door opened. Her heart jumped and she braced herself in anticipation of an argument. First she was surprised when she couldn't see the person then she heard the little angry muttering and looked down.

"Sorry Miss, Kreacher did not think there was anyone here." He walked round the table. "Is Miss finished with her dishes?"

"Yes, thank you" then she left the room, barely closing the door when the muttering started again, probably nasty things abut her. But she had given up caring. She had tried being nice but it hadn't worked. There was only so much she could do.

The day drifted on and her anticipation of the evening grew with every passing hour. She found herself wandering around the house pointlessly, her fingers were itching to grab her wand and practice but it was pretty pointless without a partner and she doubted anyone would agree. She mentally ran through the spells instead, trying to remember everything she had been taught. It got more difficult as the day went by and more people arrived. At one point Harry walked into the room when she been a little over enthusiastically practicing her wand movements but he didn't get a chance to ask her about it as she was out of the room in a flash, not even bothering to glare at him as she left the room. She did watch him carefully after that though. He was going to be on the raid for certain so he was an easy target.

Just when the light was starting to stream weakly through the windows Hermione felt the atmosphere becoming even tenser, it felt like it was crackling around her, seeping into her veins and pulling her along with it. She tried milling around with the people that knew what they were doing but she constantly felt disapproving eyes upon her, so she disappeared up a few stairs, hiding in the slight shadows. She wanted to polyjuice herself but someone might come looking for her at some point, better to wait as late as possible. When her searching eyes finally caught sight of Harry, gesturing everyone into the meeting room she headed to the landing and took the potion. Gasping as it took hold. A few painful minutes later she ran down the stairs and slipped unnoticed in the room to be briefed with the rest of the group. She wasn't stupid enough to go in blind.

It seemed only a few minutes later that they were spread out in the dark silently. Not having a proper assigned group she had tagged along with one of the smaller scout groups with no one there who would recognize her. She had just settled down when a small teen noticed her, she must have only been about a year younger than her but she seemed younger. She seemed extra scared so Hermione guessed it was her first proper raid. The girl smiled cautiously at her, bright eyes standing out in the dark. Hermione smiled back, trying to figure out what it was about the girl that seemed so familiar…but she just couldn't place it. Deciding to think on it later she then turned her attention to every sound around her. They were one of the scout groups and would be alerted when the fight, if there was going to be one, began. The silence was overwhelming, the sound of breathing heavy in the darkness. After about half an hour the group were starting to confer softly, wondering what they were to do if no one called them. She was starting to think that there had been a mistake when she heard a small pop a little to the left of her. It was hard to identify with the murmuring around her. "Shh" she hissed violently and everyone stopped muttering. Then she heard more of the same popping noise. Slowly she got to her feet, gesturing the girl next to her and the guy behind her. The girl got to her feet immediately but the boy hissed

"Get down, you'll blow our cover" Hermione ignored him, her eyes fixed to the left, her ears tuned for any other human noise.

"Hey" he muttered, "You're not in charge-" he got to his feet

"Don't you here that?" She hissed back, breaking her concentration for a second to glare at him as he stumbled, rustling a bush angrily. That was all it took. Suddenly a red light flew through the trees and Hermione flung herself and the girl next to her down to the floor to avoid it. There they remained silently. A couple of the group moved to get up but Hermione held her hand up to stop them, she had no guarantee that the Death Eaters knew they were actually there. But before she could stop the guy he was standing again his wand pointed in the air, she went to tackle him down but he had already sent a red warning flame in the air. They fell to the ground

"You idiot! Now they know were here" She spat at him. She barely had time to get to her feet before the spells came flying though. "This way" she said attempting to lead the group quickly away from their current position. They were a very small group, full of inexperienced fighters. There was no way they could fight the Death Eaters off by them selves, especially if they were the full raid.

Her plan was to try and circle around the Death Eaters, but she was dismayed when not everyone followed her out of the firing line. Some started copying the guy, shooting spells back in the blackness and some flung themselves to the ground in the confusion. Hermione sighed and muttered "Amateurs" under her breath before saying louder to the group.

"Come on, we've got to get within eye sight. Surprise them" The girl nodded, as did the rest of her following. Giving up on the rest she led her group away quickly, ignoring the calls of coward coming from the others, most of them coming from the people lying on the ground.

Less then a minute it took them to find the Death Eaters in a small clearing. There was about twenty - thirty there and they were advancing towards the group of Order members, dodging the badly aimed spells easily. There weren't nearly enough Order members left with the group to fight them off. They would be overrun; it wouldn't be a fight at all, it would be a disaster. She addressed her group

"We've got to distract them or they'll get the others. When I say, cast your spells then follow me as quick as you can" She paused, watching the Death Eaters intensely. She waited until the moment when at least one would know where the spells came from. "Now!" She sent her own stunning spell with the others then ran along their path away from the Death Eaters. Two spells hit the same mark, sending him to the ground, one Death Eater dodged one and another was hit by a freeze spell. It didn't do them too much damage but it did its purpose. They stopped moving towards the group and started shooting the spells in the random direction that Hermione and her group had come from.

"They've moved!" one called

"No you idiot they've separated"

Hermione waited until they started heading back towards the group then signalled again and another two were down. Their trick only worked once more before the Death Eaters twigged.

"Spread out, make a semi circle" the leader called and Hermione cursed, her mind working in overdrive as she attempted to figure out what to do next. Unable to find a way out she just called "Get down now" to her group. They all dove to the ground immediately and Hermione prayed it would work. Her eyes watched the Death Eaters as they raised their wands in sync. But as they were about to cast the main group of Order members burst through the undergrowth at the opposite end of the clearing, lead by Harry. They were firing spells off into the group of surprised Death Eaters. The sides were nearly even now and Hermione smiled as the fight began she turned to her group who looked unsure. "You, you and you go and tell the others what's happening". The small group split immediately into two and a few went back the way they came. "The rest of you have to help the Order with me" They nodded, except the young girl who looked shaken. "I've never been in a fight like this before." She whispered her face full of shame. Hermione turned to the rest of the group and gestured they enter the fight. "Good luck". She turned back to the girl. "I know it's scary, but they need every one out there. You wouldn't be here if you weren't ready" The girl still looked scared. Hermione sighed softly then looked towards the battle hungrily. "Look just stay by me and you'll be fine." the girl nodded. With that Hermione burst into the clearing and immediately claimed the attention of the nearest Death Eater. The girl did the same but she remained close enough for Hermione to watch her out of the corner of her eye. When she had stunned her Death Eater she moved on to the one who seemed to be winning against the teen, finishing him off quickly. From then on it was a messy blur of dodging, ducking and casting. She didn't even think about the potion wearing off. So when she met a pair of green eyes across the clearing she didn't even attempt to hide herself. Finally the Death Eaters apparated way and the Order was left to deal with the casualties.

Hermione immediately checked the girl over, feeling a strange amount of concern of her. "Are you ok?" she asked. The girl nodded seeming a little wary of Hermione now. "Thank you" her soft voice made her seem so much younger than she actually was.

"What's your name?"

"Zoey. Zoey Davies"

There was a pause

"You're Hermione Granger aren't you?"

"Yes she is" Hermione froze and turned around slowly. There she met a pair of furious green eyes. Zoey quickly left the conversation and attempted to make herself useful else ware. Hermione didn't know what to say.

"What the hell are you doing here Hermione? You're supposed to be back at the Order"

"I'm not a child Harry, you can't tell me what to do. I was needed here you know I can fight-"

"Don't you remember the last time we let you on a raid Hermione? We didn't stop you for no reason"

Hermione's eyes darted back and forth checking no one was listening. No one seemed to be but she cast a muffling charm anyway.

"Harry" she continued quietly "That was one time and I was grieving I just-"

"Well shouldn't the same be said about you now Hermione? The whole…" he paused trying to get the words out and Hermione felt the difficulty he had saying the name. "…Ron thing, your not in the right state of mind"

"That's complete and utter bullshit! I'm fine…they needed-"

Harry sighed "No they didn't. You jeopardized the mission" That was a surprise.

"What the hel-" Then her gaze was drawn towards the leader of the group. He was standing a little way away, but she could tell he was trying to listen. He noticed her gaze and smirked. Furious she started walking towards him wand out, forgetting the muffling charm "I saved you're ass you son of a-"

"Hermione" Harry grabbed her arm. "Listen to me, you weakened the group, split them up and assaulted the leader. It could have been a disaster." Hermione unable to reach the trouble maker glared at him before turning back to Harry.

"But it wasn't! I had to leave them, they were fighting blind! It would have been suicide to fight with them-"

"We were on our way, you should have waited"

"You would have been too late! We were out numbered three to one. I had to stop them getting to the group. We were distracting them for ten minutes before you showed up"

"Not necessarily. And that's not the point. Hermione, you were not supposed to be on the raid or in that group, if that wasn't bad enough, you ignored your group leader and encouraged others to do the same."

"That's not-"

"Enough Hermione. Go back to headquarters; help the members that are hurt. Like you were supposed to" he turned away and she was dismissed. As she watched his retreating back she couldn't help but feel more hurt than she had felt in a while but she decided not to say another word. There was no point, he wasn't going to listen to her, they never did. Instead she sighed and turned on her heel to apparate away. There was no way she would be able to sneak on another raid now, she had blown it. But at least one thing was certain. She smiled, she still had it.

She wasn't smiling later on that evening after a clean up operation for the raid. Wherever she went people seemed to have heard about her sneaking on the raid and 'jeopardising' it. From what she gathered, the stories were becoming stupider and people were even dredging up…older stories. She heard the words "Emotionally unstable" and "Anger problems" far too many times to make her comfortable being around people. She had just about had enough and was about to storm off to her room when there was a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Oh Hermione" a familiar but slightly reprimanding voice spoke behind her and overwhelmed by the comfort those words brought her she flung her arms around the person. Hiding herself in his warm scent. She sighed softly.

"Oh Charlie, I've missed you" She pulled away, and stared into his blue eyes. "Where have you been…things have been just awful…" she flung herself back into his arms. Charlie seemed unsure about what to do as he patted her back uncomfortably.

"Hermione" he muttered into her hair. "I've missed you to but the Order wants to speak to you. They sent me to come and get you" Hermione immediately pulled herself out of his arms and turned her burning eyes to him. He took a step back "Don't be like that love, they just thought that I was the only one you would listen to." She turned away and he brought one of his fingers up to her chin, making her look at him. "Hermione I know how you feel…They didn't tell me you didn't know…I didn't even get to go to the trial" she pushed his hand away. "But there not treating you like some fragile, insecure child" Charlie put his fingers to his forehead. "Hermione they just want to talk to you…come on 'mione…" Hermione felt her resolve melt away.

"Fine" she muttered. "But I'm not taking any crap from them" and with that she lifted her head up high and strode off to the meeting room. Avoiding and ignoring every hostile stare that came her way. She didn't really notice Charlie slipping into the room after her.

* * *

Later that night she lay staring at the dark ceiling of her wall, fuming. They were lucky that she had stayed and listened to their rubbish for the fifteen minutes she did. It was the most degrading thing since being sent to the headmaster's office when she was at school for slapping a girl who called her a "bushy haired, big toothed swot". They had sat there (they made her stand in front of them like a naughty school girl) and lectured her, all of them. Arthur, Harry, Remus, all the key members. It was like she was on trial. She didn't even get to tell her side. At one point she nearly blurted out about the potion but held it in. They were over- exaggerating everything as it was and would only turn it against her. The part that had caused her to finally walk out was when they finally brought up spying

"Hermione, I know that you feel like we're treating you like a child. But this is for your own good-" Yeah because that didn't sound like something you say to a child. "-and the good of the Order. We cannot let your overly emotional state override your usually spot on decision making…now as much as we regret-"

"You're forbidden to become a spy Hermione. We're going to find someone else." Harry cut in to Remus's long winded speech abruptly.

"Wha-What?" Hermione could barely get the words out, she looked at one Order member at a time, but they each avoided her gaze. "You know I'm the best one to-"

"Not at the moment you aren't Hermione between before and now this…" it was Arthurs turn this time. And before any of them could say another word she walked out, trying to cling on to the rest of her dignity. As she left the room she passed Zoey who was about to go in, sparing her a small smile before going straight to her room, locking the door and laying down. What was she going to do now? She had no where to go and if she stayed here then they would continue to talk down to her like this. She was about to attempt to sleep when there was a soft knock on the door. Hermione remained silent. The person knocked again then a soft, sweet voice drifted through the door.

"Hermione Granger…its me…Zoey…can I come in?" in surprise she got out of bed and opened the door, Zoey slipped in and went to sit directly on the bed Hermione had just vacated. Instead, choosing to be intimidating she stood and crossed her arms after casting a silencing charm.

"What are you doing here?" She said calmly. Zoey sat their fidgeting nervously for a few seconds until Hermione snapped "Well?" making the poor girl jump and Hermione feel bad.

"It's gonna make me sound bad" she whispered. Hermione continued to stare, giving the girl time to continue. Then it all blurted out "I don't think it's fair what they're doing to you, because they stop people like you going out they have to replace them with people like…me." She blushed and looked to the floor. "I'm not a very good fighter, I've only been training for a couple of months…and I think you should go instead of me on the next raid" The girl looked up and Hermione met her once again bright eyes.

"I don't-"

The girl continued, still rushed. "That's not all. I volunteered to be a spy and because…" she blushed "People say I'm a younger version of you…they said they would consider it" Hermione was strangely touched.

"But what does that have to do with me? They still won't let me go-"

The girl interrupted. "I don't mean go as you…I mean…go as me. You obviously know how to use a polyjuice potion" the girl smiled, and Hermione saw the hint of a smirk. Hermione smiled in response. "Of course"

**Review?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own it…you should know that by now…lol**

**Chapter 6 – Confinement **

When Zoey left Hermione to sleep she instead found herself lying in the dark, eyes wide open. She couldn't sleep now. Too many thoughts were racing around her head. She still hadn't got rid of the adrenaline that the fight had installed in her. She wanted to get up and move about. When the feeling got unbearable she pulled off the covers and pulled on a pair of shoes and her coat. She might as well go out for a walk. No one would stop her, especially at this time of night. She was aware of the slight creaking the stairs made as she tip-toed down them but the house remained silent, apart from the very gentle breathing of the few Order members still being looked after and sleeping in the many spare rooms. She had just put her hand on the door when she noticed a light still on in the meeting room. Riddled with a sense of curiosity she made her way towards it. There was no sound from indoors but a quick peek into the room revealed Harry and Remus in a heated discussion, but minus the volume. As she watched Remus made a point and Harry's response was to swipe his arm across a table furiously and send a glass vase smashing into the wall where one of the terrified viewers quickly fixed it with a flick of their wand. Then he levitated it across the room to sit beside another identical one and a blue fruit bowl. She had never seen Harry so angry before and it scared her. What had happened? What had gone wrong? She wanted to go and intervene before someone got hurt but before she did one of the spectators met her gaze from across the arguing pair. It was Tom, his eyes flickered, implying that she should leave and she for once she obliged.

The night was colder than she had expected and she had to pull her long grey coat closer to cover her freezing body. As she walked along a familiar and fairly short path she looked up towards the sky, disappointed at the lack of stars. Back when she had lived with her parents and then later at Hogwarts she had loved just staring up and watching them glitter temptingly.

Now that she was outside she heard the gentle rhythm of the outskirts of London night noise. When she felt her eyes beginning to get heavy she turned back. Feeling every step was a trial. She couldn't even be bothered to take her wand out to apparate. This time when she walked into the house the door was closed and the light was off, but this drew extra attention to the kitchen light once again being on. Annoyed at her nosiness today she crept forward till she reached the door. This time she knocked gently, but there was no answer. So she slowly opened the door. Harry was sat with his back facing her. His head fallen into his hands and his body shaking slightly. She reached out a hand to reassure him but stopped mid way. He hadn't seen her yet and no matter how mad at him she was (her angry lay slightly dormant at this moment) she wouldn't let him know she had seen him like this. She wouldn't be able to help him and knowing he had been observed in his weakness would only damage him further. He needed people to think he was strong, she knew that. So she slowly retreated, shutting the door very softly behind her. Then went to check on the people she had helped earlier just for something to do, but soon the weight of her eyes became too much for her so she collapsed into bed only just managing to pull her new pjs on.

* * *

The light was shining through the gap in the curtains when Hermione opened her eyes the next morning, and she immediately wondered what she was going to do with her day. She considered staying in her room but dismissed it straight away, she would have to come out at some point or someone would come looking for her. She also considered pretending nothing was wrong and hanging around headquarters but then the memory of all those eyes burning into her accusingly put her off. That meant she only had one option. Go out, but do what? She sighed and pulled the pillow over her face to muffle her

"Aaaaarrrrggh". She wished that she could get things sorted with Snape. The sooner everything was sorted the sooner everything could begin, and when it began…she would make her life worth living. Or lose it. Either way was better than what she had to deal with now. At least now she had her alibi sorted thanks to Zoey. She was one step closer, and the potion would be done soon…she was startled out of her thoughts by a knocking on the door.

"Who is it" she called, her voice still muffled by the pillow.

"It's me Charlie. Can I come in?" Hermione paused, pulling the pillow off her head. Finally stating "Depends on what you want"

His reply was instantaneous, like he'd known she was going to ask him something like that.

"To see you of course 'mione…I'm sorry about being the Order's messenger boy. It didn't know they were going to do that to you…"There was silence as Hermione mulled it over. She slipped out of bed and stood in the middle of the floor arms crossed. Once she felt he had waited long enough she called come in and the door opened to reveal a smiling Charlie, dressed to impress. Seeing him look so gorgeous made her consider her own appearance for the first time in a few days and she didn't like what she was seeing. She blushed and attempted to tidy her hair quickly and straighten her clothes, forgetting that she was being watched by a pair of amused blue eyes. She finally looked up to see a smiling Charlie. "You're so cute" he said as he took her in his arms. Once again Hermione enjoyed the familiar comfort his embrace brought to her then reluctantly pulled away

"Why are you dressed so smart then?" she looked questioningly deliberately and obviously checking him out, before turning her gaze on herself. "I feel so underdressed" his eyes followed her gesture; drinking in her small shorts and top (she had stopped wearing Ron's shirt when she found out about him and hadn't remembered her new pj's until just now) just like she had admired his outfit a few seconds ago.

Then he cleared his throat. "Well I was going to take you out but…" he seemed uncomfortable "…something came up with the… um… Order so now I'll have to postpone…" Hermione who had started to smile at the kind gesture felt her face fall slightly. Charlie reached down and stroked her hair. "…till this evening" at that Hermione perked up. Her mind instantly filled with what to do today. It seemed childish to be in the middle of life changing events and to think about simply going shopping. But when would she have the chance to for a while? It was a pretty mindless task and Harry couldn't stop or_ forbid _her from going shopping. That was just plain pointless. "Meet here at eight o clock then?" he asked. Hermione nodded.

"Cant wait" she whispered as she ghosted her lips over his.

It took her about fifteen minutes to get ready and five of those were spent staring at the Polyjuice potion. She didn't want to change today. It wasn't like she was going to do anything dangerous, only going to a crowded muggle shopping centre. And she was perfectly capable of protecting herself. Screw what Harry had said. She would only be out for an hour…two at most. Was there really any point? Eventually she decided to take it but not drink it immediately. If she got suspicious or worried she could take it when she was out. That decided she proceeded with getting ready. For the first time in a while caring what she looked like with no polyjuice potion. She pulled her old favourite jeans on and a green strappy top. She left her hair down for once, confident that it looked fairly decent in all its wavy glory, then with a last glance in her mirror headed down the stairs, picking up her wand and purse and shoving them in her pocket. Harry came out of a doorway just as she was reaching the bottom of the stairs and as she walked past him she caught his eyes and held them defiantly. He kept the contact for a few seconds but then she brushed past him, he didn't say a word about her appearance but as she placed her hand on the door he did ask her where she was going. Her grip on the handle tightened slightly.

"Shopping" she said bluntly. Not bothering to say any more or wait for his reply as she exited the house. She didn't trust the next words that could come out of her mouth. Not any more, it was best to get out as soon as possible. When the door had closed however she could have sworn she heard him say "have fun" softly. She must have misheard.

The morning went quite pleasantly. As she was shopping in a muggle area no one recognised her and she had no confrontations of any sort. For which she was grateful for. She also got some new clothes which strangely made her feel slightly better. As did the strawberry and vanilla ice-cream she had while tying to elongate the time she spent away from the house. She had a fair few hours before she had to meet Charlie and the weather was half decent for once. Once she finished her ice-cream down to the last chocolate sprinkle she stepped out of the sun for two seconds to shrink her bags so she could go for a walk without them weighing her down. She had just shrunk the last one, placed her wand back in her pocket and was about to step back into the sunshine when she felt a wand at her back. She froze, analysing the possibilities of being able to grab her wand without being noticed. But its positioning made her incapable of reaching it. She considered trying but before she could even move the person behind her whispered

"Don't even think about it" and the hand not holding the wand snaked round her waist, making her breath hitch slightly in fear but the hand just removed her wand from her pocked and out of her sight.

Then the voice spoke again "We're going to apparate now" she could hear the smirk in his voice "Hold on" and before she had a chance to make a run for it the arm was back around her waist and restraining her. He was stronger than her so she had no hope but she struggled anyway. But then they were apparating. And once again she stumbled on the landing and was supported by the apparator before they moved away. She spun around to face her attacker but there was no one there. Carefully she looked around the surroundings until she realised where she was. She sighed, straightened up then crossed her arms angrily.

"Ha ha" she called and Snape appeared in front of her holding her wand in between his fingers tauntingly.

"Miss Granger that was so easy it was hardly any fun at all. You are out of practice aren't you?"

"I could have attacked you!"

"But you didn't, you reacted the way I would expect for someone… out of practice"

She glared at him "Stop saying that! I'm not used to being ambushed when I'm out shopping, especially in a muggle area. Now hand me my wand"

"Why don't you attempt to take it from me Miss Granger? It might help me get over the disappointing display of defence you just displayed and make me remember why your a good fighter to depend on"

Hermione blanked. He wasn't serious was he? He didn't actually want her to go over there and take it from him? She took a cautionary step forward but Snape raised his wand immediately and Hermione froze.

"Not another step Miss Granger or I'll curse you" something in the gleam of his eye told her he wasn't lying. But how else could she get her wand?

"I…I don't understand" Hermione stuttered, she didn't know what else to do. He wasn't suggesting she use wandless magic was he? In response Snape lowered his wand.

"Once again I'm disappointed. Now come along before I change my mind." The shame burned through her. This wasn't like in school where Snape had open contempt for all students, this was proper disappointment and she was ashamed at her lack of knowledge. Seeing that he was already a way ahead of her, she quickly started after him, unwilling to get caught in the wards when they reactivated themselves.

By the time she got to the door they used to get into the lab he had already undone the wards and was waiting by the potion, stirring it diligently. Her wand lay on the closest desk to her and moving quietly so she wouldn't disturb him she quickly slipped it in her pocket. She obviously wasn't quiet enough as he looked up before then looked back at the potion dismissively.

"I just need a few more moments" he muttered and she guessed he was talking to her so she nodded and hovered a little away from him and the potion. To scared to interrupt or get herself a seat. Eventually the smoke above the potion turned a sickly green and Snape allowed himself a smile. Hermione's heart skipped a beat in excitement and she found herself walking forward swiftly, her eyes frozen on the potion and the man hovering over it. Respect filling her anew for the man that had seemed to make her life a misery for her first few school years. Snapes black eyes rose to meet hers before pulling out his wand and transferring some of the potion to a vial he had made appear out of nowhere. Then he sealed it and placed it on the table next to him and proceeded to repeat the process. His ignorance of her confused her. What was she supposed to do? Instead she stood on the spot, occasionally looking around or at her watch. When about five vials of the green liquid had been placed on the table, Snapes eyes rose once again to her hovering figure which was once again looking at her watch.

"Would you like to help Miss Granger? Or am I boring you?"

Hermione blushed and hurried forward copying Snapes movements in silence. The job took about ten minutes but every one felt like so much longer, probably because she couldn't help but sense the dissatisfaction surrounding him, she guessed she was the cause of it.

She placed the last vial on the table and then looked up at her professor expectantly. He seemed lost in thought for a minute then, as if he had made a decision, started towards the door. Now she was really confused. "Umm aren't I going to-"

"Not tonight I think Miss Granger. You need to develop your talents first. I will not have this being found on you and being used for the Dark side. I would like to see a new level of defence on you before you touch it. Is that understandable?" Hermione nodded, slightly gobsmacked. He turned to continue walking then turned back when he realised she wasn't following him."Would you like to stand there all night or would you prefer to get started?" her response was to follow him. She tied her hair up as she hurried forward, followed the figure in front of her. He led her down what seemed to be one dark corridor after another until finally the confined space opened up.

It seemed like some kind of hall, the roof looked a lot like the Hogwarts great hall, the starry night shone down on her but she knew that it was too early to be night. The walls surrounding them were the same dark panelling as the corridors they had just walked through, every now and again the wood gave way to a dark, Slytherin green patch, there were no paintings and no books, the floor was cold marble and their footsteps echoed slightly, their difference paces making it seem like they were not alone in the room. This was where he stopped and turned towards her, raising his wand. Hermione looked around the room nervously. She remembered the last time she had duelled her potion master. She had been kidding herself when she thought she was prepared. What chance did a sixteen year old have against a double spy who had been fighting for the majority of his life? But she sighed and pulled out her wand anyway at the look he was throwing her way. It was challenging her, mocking her. Slightly uncertain, she raised her wand in defence. He wouldn't hurt her too badly.

What did she have to lose?

It turned out, she did have something to lose, even more of her dignity. She had taken a battering from Snape, he hadn't been lying. She was out of practice, it seemed when they were practicing at school he had been taking it easy on her. Again and again they had fought and she had lost within minutes of each fight, with him barely taking a hit. He had searched her memories as well. That had been demeaning, especially the part about her old crushes, one of which was Harry. That had been embarrassing but she thanked god that he hadn't looked at the more recent stuff like her feelings of admiration for him, or her other emotions of desperation. She really didn't need someone else thinking she was unstable. As she trudged down the path towards the apparition point her mind filled with all the things she had been taught she decided to finally confront the thing that had been bothering her. She stopped and turned to the silent and dark shadow of a figure next to her.

"You can't apparate from here"

"I know but I wanted to talk to you about something"

"It's rather late, why must you stop to talk? Are you incapable of multi-tasking? I thought your gender was marked by their ability to do so" And he started walking. Hermione hurried after him.

"I know you're annoyed but can you just deal with it silently, I'm going to work on it. I want to talk about Ron"

There was no reply.

"I know you know Severus and I'm asking you to tell me. No one else can"

"We've reached the apparartion point"

"I don't care" She folded her arms. She heard him sigh.

"Miss Granger, I do not know what happened with your…red haired boyfriend. All I know is that he was brought in by one of the Death Eaters a few weeks ago, held in a cell somewhere, then he started behaving like a Death Eater and was captured almost immediately after." He paused, as if deliberating. "But set your mind at rest Miss Granger, I do not think it was of his free will". Hermione felt tears of relief and sadness come to her eyes at the reassurance. But then she cleared her throat.

"Well at least finally someone is being honest. Goodnight…and thank you" she turned to apparate then paused. "And next time you wish to meet me, an owl would be quite sufficient" Then she was gone, leaving a small smile on the cloaked figure behind.

When her feet hit the ground again she reached into her pocket to provide proof for her being out should Harry see her. She un-shrunk the first bag and took a quick peek inside to see what she had bought. The glimpse of a dark red gown peered at her though the darkness. She hoped Charlie would like it. The bag dropped to the floor and she swore. Charlie! She had completely forgotten. She picked her bag up then headed in doors, noticing that it was just gone ten. She hurried through the door and started towards the stairs when she saw a figure sitting on them. He stood when he saw her approaching. His top button was undone and he looked more ragged than this morning.

"Hermione, where have you been? I've been so worried"

"I'm so sorry I was out…shopping" She saw his eyes glance down to the one back she was holding.

"I can see that" He stated, his voice slightly colder. Hermione realised how bad it looked then.

"Like I said I'm really sorry-"

"Yeah you have said that"

Hermione continued only slightly fazed, making up her story on the spot.

"I just um…ran into an old friend and we went for dinner. I lost track of the time and-" At that point Charlie got to his feet and walked past her. Stopping to kiss her lightly and stare at her searchingly.

"Its ok I understand" then he headed into the kitchen and shut the door behind him. Hermione stood there, clutching the only shopping bag she had thought she needed as proof, for a few seconds before snapping out of her daze and starting up the stairs. She just couldn't please anyone today, and the day had started so well. As she reached the third step another door opened and Hermione prayed it wasn't Harry, she couldn't take another one tonight. But it wasn't the light from the doorway illuminated a different figure and squinting her eyes slightly she realised it was Tom, the auror.

"Hermione?" he said softly and she paused.

"Yeah"

"I just wanted to say…thanks for looking out for my sister yesterday. I know you shouldn't have been there but…" he paused seeming quite uncomfortable. "She means a lot to me…and I didn't want her to go anyway…but anyway I'm rambling. I just wanted to say thanks, and if you need a favour in return just let me know" and he closed the door again, leaving the hallway in the dark again. As Hermione continued up the stairs she thought at least the day hadn't been all bad. And as she closed her eyes she realised, she had recognised Zoey the other day and a soft smile found itself on her lips when she drifted off. She had another ally…and she needed all the help she could get.

**Review?**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 – Planning**

For the second time in the past few days she was woken by a tapping and she immediately stumbled to the door, but when she opened it she found an empty hallway, the bright light dazzled her and left her slightly confused for a few seconds. It must be the middle of the night. Then the tapping came again. In realization she turned around and headed to the window, attempting to rub some sleep out of her eyes. Then she met a bright pair of eyes staring at her unnervingly from the other side of the window. It was still quite dark out and Hermione had to rub her eyes again to check what she was seeing was actually real. She pushed open the window gently so she didn't startle the bird then stepped aside as it glided gracefully though the window and settled on her bed post. She moved towards it carefully, admiring the dark sheen of its feathers. It was a beautiful bird but something about it caused her to be cautious.

The eyes never left her as she approached and the sharp beak looked deadly in the dim light. She feared for her hand but the curiosity she felt for the small scroll tied to the leg was greater and when she reached the bird it did not object to her removing it. As she unrolled the parchment her eyes never left the bird, the only person she could think of that would send her a note this early was Severus. When she finally cast her eyes down, she was disappointed to find it was blank. It only remained so for a few seconds before written in a familiar hand the words.

_State your name_

"uhh Hermione Granger…" the parchment cleared and then was replaced by a longer piece of writing and Hermione realised her assumption had been correct and it was indeed from Severus. Something also fell out of the parchment, falling to the floor with a quiet clink as it hit the floorboards. Hermione bent down quickly and scooped the object into her palm, ignoring the chill of it against her hand. Then she turned to the letter.

_Miss Granger,_

_For security purposes I will use the Diligo nuntius charm on any correspondence required between us. As I'm sure you are unacquainted with this charm I will enlighten you on its purpose. When its cast on any document the charm allows the document to give incorrect or misleading evidence or refuse to all but the supposed recipient. However to ensure the security of this charm I require a magical signature which I will collect next time we meet, as well as teaching you the required spell. I have contacted you to arrange another meeting. Tomorrow at noon, the portkey provided will take you straight to my manor at the appropriate time unless you wish to reschedule. Do Not Lose It as it is the only way you will gain access to my grounds without me apparating you._

_To re read this message simply re-state your name._

_I look forward to our next meeting._

She only just had a chance to read it through twice before the paper went blank. Then she blinked to herself. "Thank you" she said to the expectant bird, sorry she couldn't give it a treat. The bird took off into the night without a complaint. She pulled the window shut after it, the cool breeze making her shudder slightly. Then she opened up her palm, the object was a ring, but the details of it were too difficult to make out in the light so she closed her palm over it again. She rolled the parchment up and slipped into her gratefully still warm bed, placing the letter and the cold ring on the table next to her so she wouldn't forget them. Then she closed her eyes and attempted to get a few more hours sleep.

While she slept she didn't notice the figure slip into her room. She didn't see the small shaft of light from the hallway appear and disappear and she didn't feel the eyes of the figure stood watching her, silent and frozen as though afraid they would wake her. After the pause they carefully made their way around the room. A small light hovered at the end of the wand. They paused at the window, as if searching for something and hovered there for a few seconds before moving on. After a while they paused in their search. Dimming the light and moving it closer to the sleeping girl, reaching a hand out to gently stroke her hair.

"I'm doing this for your own good I promise" they whispered. When her eyes fluttered the light was immediately sheltered. But not before the figure noticed the paper on the table. It was slowly removed accidently nudging the ring which fell softly to the floor unnoticed by the figure.

"Hermione Granger" they whispered softly when the first words came out. The dead silence of the night overwhelmed the room again as the figure read, then re-red the letter. Before placing it back on the table and leaving as expertly as they had entered. The small exposure of light vanished as quickly as it appeared, leaving the sleeping girl undisturbed. Right before the figure disappeared they mouthed a silent good night as the door shut behind them.

* * *

The first thing Hermione saw when she opened her eyes was the piece of parchment on her table and she blinked sleepily. So it wasn't just a dream. She sat up carefully and checked the time, surprised to see that it was as late as half past ten. She had about an hour and a half if she remembered correctly but she re read the parchment just to make sure before slipping out of bed and accidently standing on the ring. It was ice cold and sharp beneath her bare foot. She let out a little whimper and leapt back on the bed rubbing her foot. How had that gotten there? She leant down and plucked it from the floor, finding herself staring at it in the morning light exposed by the window. The gem glittered temptingly. The green flashing different with everyway she tilted it. The jewel wasn't huge but it was big enough to catch the eye and the edges felt sharp beneath her fingertips. Only when she started to examine the rest of the ring did she notice the small snakes that were carved around the inside and outside of the silver base. It was all so very Slytherin and she couldn't help but grimace slightly. But she slipped it on her finger anyway. Admiring the way it shone on her hand. The cold barely disturbed her; after all, it had been on the floor for a while. Then she proceeded with getting dressed, pulling on her most comfortable jeans and t-shirt. She might be lucky enough to try the potion today. That was, if she could impress Snape. She pulled a face, that wasn't very likely. But better to be prepared.

She made her way down the stairs, ignoring every look that came her way. She was too nervous to give a damn. When she opened the door to the kitchen Harry was sitting at the table with his newspaper. Just like most mornings and she froze, uncertain as to whether she should sit stay or leave and enter dangerous territory. She was about to chicken out when her stomach rumbled loudly and Harry looked up, a small smile on his face.

"Morning Hermione"

Hermione mentally winced before heading back into the kitchen and preparing a sandwich and a cup of tea. She sat reluctantly on the table to eat, avoiding looking at Harry. She was still angry at him.

"You don't need to act like that Hermione" she remained silent and he sighed, running his hand through his messy black hair. when she didn't respond he continued "Where did you go yesterday, you were gone for hours, you weren't shopping that long."

And even though she knew it was slightly childish she still replied. "None of your business" and she turned her attention back to her cup of tea.

"Charlie was really worried about you" now that was a low blow and she felt a twinge of guilt at the thought of him waiting for her, all dressed up. She continued to stare into her cup. But Harry didn't say any more after that, for which she was glad. The silence in the room was only disturbed by the rustling of Harry's paper until Hermione finally got the courage to speak with at least a little civility.

"Where is he today?"

Harry shrugged. "He left this morning, said he would be back later tonight if you wanted to see him" Hermione nodded in response and the silence only continued for a few more seconds before Harry broke it again.

"I'm going out again today, wont be back till late" He folded his newspaper and stood up. "Don't wait up" then he left and Hermione was left alone in the kitchen. She quickly munched her sandwich and finished her tea then went up to her room. On the way trying to decide whether she should just leave through the portkey, go outside, or get Zoey to cover for her. Harry wasn't in today and she doubted anyone but Charlie would want to come and find her, and she would be back before both of them. So she would just lock her door and leave. Anyone else would think she was sulking. That was fine with her. She caught sight of the time again. Half past eleven. Thinking it wouldn't be long now she picked up her wand, sat on her bed, laid the wand on her lap and waited. Alternating her time between twisting the cold ring around her finger and holding it up to the light to admire the way it gleamed. She wasn't pleased she would have to give it back.

Soon she glanced up again. 11.59. Time to leave. She touched the green jewel with her finger and closing her eyes, counted down in her head until she felt the uncomfortable but familiar tug of the portkey. When she opened her eyes she was greeted with the sight of Severus and couldn't stop the small smile from appearing on her lips. His response was the curious raising of his eyebrow. "Good afternoon, this way" and although she sort of knew the way she followed him. Wondering what the day would have in store for her.

* * *

When she entered the house she became quickly confused and curious. Instead of leading her to the potion room or even the hall where they had practiced the duelling, he led her past the stairs and along the bottom floor. This was different to the upper floor in the way that the doors were a lot less numerous and also it seemed a bit brighter. Some of the doors were even open, letting a brief amount of light into to the corridor. Hermione caught glimpses of a few brightly lit rooms but in most of them the heavy curtains were closed and the musty air had made its way into the corridor. Finally Severus turned into a doorway closing the door slightly so only a small shaft of light shone through. Hermione paused before stepping in before letting her fingertips push the door softy. It opened with a small creek and what she saw inside made her blink repeatedly. It was a dining room and laid on the table was lunch. Severus stood next to one of the chairs.

"Have you eaten?" Hermione though back to her sandwich not too long ago then shook her head trying to be polite. Although in her head she was wondering what the hell was going on, especially when he pulled out a chair, presumably for her. She went forward cautiously and sat down managing to pull her chair in with enough skill to move it a decent distance away from the chair he had just sat in. She didn't feel comfortable sitting so close to him. His presence felt like it could overwhelm her, even in his more relaxed form. Unwilling to look anywhere near him she instead focussed on taking in the room. It was light and spacious, scarcely decorated with few pictures and ornaments. The lights glittered above her. And her eyes were eventually drawn to the well made table they were sitting at. It was way too large for just two people so she guessed it was when he was entertaining the...

Suddenly she felt very uncomfortable with where she was. HE had probably been in this very room, discussing the downfall of her and her friends. Then it hit her, she would have to meet him, talk to him, it would be so easy for him to kill her, he could find out about the plans from her, Harry would be devastated…she would have walked right into the lions den without a plan or escape...

She didn't realise how shallow and panicked her breathing was until she felt a hand on her arm; she jumped and then her wild eyes met his dark, calm ones. She looked into the eyes and felt her breathing steady, then she couldn't help but whispering a soft

"I'm sorry". The hand was swiftly removed from her arm as if it had never been there and her eyes were finally drawn down to the place in front of her. A range of cutlery sat on either side of her plate. She stared at it until she heard a small chuckle next to her. She looked up in confusion.

"I thought so" he smirked and Hermione felt a blush creep up into her cheeks. "You've got a lot to learn. It's not all about the fighting. If you're going to be my sister you have to act right. Memories aren't enough if they're not backed up with attitude." Hermione groaned in understanding and then settled down resignedly for what appeared to be a long, uneventful lesson. Deciding to deliberately ignore the strange thrill she got whenever he leaned close enough for her to smell the hypnotising scent that enveloped him.

* * *

By the time they actually got round to eating the meal Hermione was restless, she was itching to get some proper fighting practice in. And she wasn't disappointed, as soon as she was satisfied (which didn't take long because she hadn't exactly been hungry to start with) Severus got up and vanished all the plates before leading her, once again to the big hall where they could practice. And once again, it didn't take long before her limbs were aching and she was panting with exhaustion. He was defiantly a hard task master and he didn't look like he appreciated her tiredness as he stared at her, lazily holding his wand.

"Expelliamus" he drawled, just as lazily and Hermione's wand left her hand for the third time in the past ten minutes. She cursed and dived to retrieve it before he could get hold of it, but once again she was too late. After that she considered just sitting on the floor and giving up for the day but then he kicked her wand towards her. "You'll never defeat the Dark Lord if you give up that easily Miss Granger. Now get up" The words were spoken harshly and were like little daggers in her heart. She saw herself as being truly pathetic even if Snape didn't tell her. She picked up her wand and jumped to her feet, ignoring the aching of her limps she began the fight again.

* * *

It was nearly two hours later when she finally succumbed to exhaustion and let herself slide to the floor. She was satisfied to see that she wasn't the only one. Although he hid it better she could hear the shallowness of his breath as he stood in front of her. She couldn't help but feel proud that she had managed to disarm him once. But that had taken a lot of luck and he had quickly recovered his wand without her having to give it back to him. She smiled at the annoyance in his face at almost being bested that one time. He let her catch her breath for a few silent minutes before speaking.

"Better" was all he said to her and Hermione revealed a small smile. That was at least something. "But lets hope you don't have to fight him" that was a slight confidence knock but she could be bothered to react. He held out his hand to help her up and she took it, quickly pulling herself to her feet and almost stumbling as he removed his hand from her grasp. "Come along" he said abruptly but had only taken two steps before he stopped and clutched at his arm. Hermione couldn't see his face but she could imagine the pain on it. Then suddenly he was standing tall, he turned to her. And Hermione could see the lengths he was going to hide his pain.

"I must go. Make your way to the apparition point" he turned to clutch his arm again. Before she could open her mouth he spoke again.

"I do not thinking meeting tomorrow is wise. I will owl you." Then he was gone and Hermione was hit by the emptiness and silence of the house.

* * *

For the first time in a while she was glad to reach headquarters. The walk though the manor alone had been absolutely terrifying. She never wanted to do it again, all the doors… it had been plain creepy. She was disappointed that he hadn't got round to teaching the spell to her, though at least now she had a chance to do a little research on the subject. Something she was depressed to find she was looking forward to. She had so few delights in her life…it was sad that researching something for a purpose was one of them. She was sure the Black library had something on the subject. She allowed herself a small smile as she entered the house. It fell slightly when she saw Charlie was waiting for her. He looked a mess and was clutching a bottle of fire whisky in one of his hands. His face broke out into a huge grin when he saw her.

"'Mione!" his voice slurred slightly and he started towards her.

She took a small step back as the alcoholic scent hit her.

"Where have you been mione…? I've missed you…" he took a slightly steadier step towards her and went to kiss her. She put her hand up to stop him.

"You've been drinking, its not even 6 o'clock" she said accusingly.

"Its cuz I missed you…" and before she could stop him he enfolded her in a tight hug. He kissed her neck then mumbled "I want you so much…" she pushed him away and he stumbled back a few steps in surprise. He looked confused then a look of anger came over his face.

"You don't want me?" Hermione rubbed her head.

"I'm not talking to you when you're drunk, I'm going to go and get you a sobering potion."

She attempted to bypass him but he grabbed her forcefully.

"You're cheating on me aren't you?" Hermione was shocked into silence, then she finally managed to chock out.

"Wha-what?"

"Don't try and deny it you little…whore. Who are you sleeping with?"

"I'm not sleeping with anyone" She hissed. Glad no one was around to witness this. She attempted to get her hand free of his arm but it just clamped tighter.

"Tell me now" he snarled. Hermione's anger flared and Charlie removed his hand with an angry hiss. Hermione didn't bother to register what had happened. Instead flew upstairs to her room. Locking the door and searching through her potions. She heard him coming after and soon he was banging on the door. This wasn't her Charlie, it was the drink…if she got him sober he would wise up and apologise…all she had to do was find the potion and everything would be alright…but where was it? Soon the tears were pouring down her cheeks with fear or hysteria she couldn't tell. When she finally found the vial she chocked a sob of relief, and leant down with her back to the door. She couldn't hear him anymore. However she didn't leave until she had calmed herself down. When she opened to door her wasn't there.

"Charlie?" she called cautiously stepping out of her door. No sign of him. She continued to make her way along the hall and down the stairs. She was about halfway down when she saw him, slumped against the wall at the bottom of the stairs. He was snoring, the bottle of firewhisky lying empty next to him. Hermione felt the disgust at him rising up and she turned to leave him there. She hadn't got far when she changed her mind. She couldn't just leave him there. She sighed and got to work levitating him onto the nearest sofa, which was in the dining room. As she watched him lying there she considered getting a hangover potion for him but found her conscience didn't stretch that far. He could deal with his mistake in the morning, maybe if he apologised enough she would help him. But just maybe.

Hermione took the opportunity of Charlie being incapacitated and Harry being out to have her full run of the library. It used to be her favourite place, but soon it felt like being at a cake stand and not being hungry. She had nothing to research so didn't know what to read. But now she had a purpose and it filled her with a familiar thrill as she ran her fingers along the dusty rows in search of what she needed. Finally she found a promising book. _Protection charms – How to make sure what's hidden, is actually hidden. _She opened the first page and quickly located the page on charming parchment. This looked promising.

_Although many charms can be used to dissolution objects (see page 47) and protect objects from intruding eyes (Pages 101 & 113) many play tricks on the readers not destined to read the content of a document. There are a huge variety of these although once you identify the charm they are easy to break for example…_

Smiling in satisfaction she settled down to read. It wasn't long before she came to the charm she wanted.

_**Diligo nuntius**__** – **__This is considered one of the more complex concealment charms. It is difficult to detect and can provide false information or correct information deciding on the recipient seeking information. While it has no dangerous side affects to those forcing entry there is one extra thing required for this charm. That is a magical signature from the recipient. This is the thing that allows this remarkable charm to work correctly. Without said signature, an interceptor would only have to state the name of the true recipient to be granted access to the information. However few people would allow another to keep a magical signature of themselves. This is why its know as the 'lovers message'…_

She skipped down a bit, looking for the instruction but all she found was a last paragraph stating.

_The use of this charm is prohibited is most parts of the wizarding world because of the level of concealment and frowned upon in others, therefore no instruction will be included in this book on its casting. _

Hermione sighed and placed a spare piece of paper as a bookmark. She would have to try another book, but this one was interesting, she might come back to it. But for now she placed it to the side of her and stood up to search again. Within minutes finding another promising book and settling down to search for any more information.

She had no idea how long she been in the library when she heard the front door through the library doorway. She was two steps away from the door when her common sense took action. It was probably Harry back from whatever he'd been doing. That's when she paused, indecisive. Her head told her that going and seeing him wasn't going to do any good. It might frustrate him or push him further. She should just go to bed and forget. But her heart didn't care about what could go wrong. She wanted to know if he was ok, he was obviously doing something dangerous even though he denied it.

Her heart won and she edged down the stairs, passing the room where Charlie lay passed out until she was level with the kitchen, strangely enough the doorway was dark. Hermione turned, he definitely hadn't gone upstairs that's when she noticed the very faint tell tale glow of a dim light though the door she had placed Charlie in. She peered through the crack. Thankfully the dark haired boy sitting on the sofa perfectly within sight of the door was clean. Even if he did look broken and defeated with his head in his hands. She stood watching him for a few minutes, wanting so much to comfort him but knowing she couldn't. Just as she felt her eyes beginning to get heavy he spoke.

"Could you not spy on me Hermione" Hermione jumped guiltily and feeling embarrassed turned. He spoke again, and this time his voice barely travelled to her ears. "Don't go" it whispered and Hermione found herself entering the room for the second time that night. She didn't know what to do. Should she hold him? Hold his hand? Sit in silence next to him? What about Charlie? But suddenly it didn't matter what she should do, when she heard the strangled sob coming from him she was by his side immediately, clutching his head to her chest as he sobbed. And though she knew the words would mean nothing to him, she still muttered words of comfort into his ears. And at some point, they fell asleep like that.

**R.E.V.I.E.W lol. Please x **


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 – Reminiscence**

Hermione's eyes were the first to open and for that she was glad given the position she was in. She detangled herself from Harry's sleeping form and brushed herself down. What time was it? She walked over to the heavy curtains and peered through them, stifling a small cough as the dust broke free, attacking her throat and nose. It was still dark out, but it was hard to tell how early it was due to the downpour of rain hammering on the window. She turned back to the two sleeping figures and made her way to an old armchair sitting in the corner. She tucked her legs up and resting her elbow on the squishy arm, leant her hand on her hand, observing them calmly. She could just make out the two sleeping silhouettes.

Charlie was stretched out over the too small sofa, his arm dangling over the edge limply. As she watched him sleep she couldn't help thinking of how he reminded her of Ron, as if trying to prove her right he let out a snore and she couldn't help the smile from appearing on her face, soon followed by a lone tear. She wiped it away with a small sniff. But the smile didn't leave her face. She wanted it to work out with him so much, but it was so difficult. They hardly saw each other, and when they did it was always stolen hours. At first it had been just him but she hadn't helped matters lately, she would try and spend more time with him. Starting with today. But was it going to work? Her thoughtful gaze then turned to Harry.

He looked a lot more troubled than Charlie and she didn't blame him. He had shifted his position after she had moved and now lay curled up in an uncomfortable ball, his arm wrapped around the pillow which his head rested on. Occasionally he moved suddenly but from afar it would seem like he was sleeping peacefully. She knew that was not the case. Hard as it was to make out, his face was tense. Eyes clenched shut. She had thought about trying to see his dreams but she knew that was wrong. His head was public enough as it was. She loved him, he was her best friend, but she knew he felt the weight of the whole of the wizarding world on his shoulders. He asked no one to bear that weight with him, but noble as that was. It was crushing him. And as she gazed at him she found herself wondering where he kept disappearing off to. He told no one, he took no one. She couldn't even properly guess with the information she had. All she had was what he had told her. That he had tracked a Death Eater and stolen information. But that wasn't the whole truth and that bugged her. What was he hiding?

These questions filled her head while she sat there. But she had no conclusion to either of them so soon found her mind drifting off to herself. What was she doing going against Harry's will? She knew he was trying to control her for her own good. But that didn't stop her. Why should everybody else risk their lives while she hid away behind the defences, an unused weapon, because that's what she was. She had brains, so many people had told her, why didn't they use them? And she might not be able to beat her professor but she was still one of the best fighters the Order had. Sure she was overrun by her emotional problems occasionally, it was better than being a mindless drone. It wasn't like she was hurting anyone.

Even as she thought that a lump came to her throat. She wasn't at the moment, but she had. As much as she tried to forget, as much as she told herself her confinement was an overreaction. She knew it wasn't. It wasn't just to protect her, it was her form of punishment. She had messed up. Occasionally she still had nightmares about it, but it had been a few days since the last one, since after she volunteered actually. She had been an emotional wreck since her parents and one day…she snapped. She closed her eyes to the slowly lighting room. She was there, she could feel the heart wrenching pain, feel the adrenaline pumping in her body, the need to do something and not wait.

_She could hear them, they were right in front of her. Why weren't they attacking? The ground rustled lightly underneath her impatient feet. She looked at the auror next to her. His name was Andrew. He was watching her carefully; she knew Harry had told him to. She had fought her argument well. Not letting any trace of the almost animal madness coursing beneath her skin show._

_She had reasoned "You'll need another fighter" she had said levelly, not letting any flicker of emotion reveal itself to his penetrating gaze. _

_She had lied "I'm perfectly fine" _

_She had compromised. "I won't go in, I'll stay defence"_

_And he had agreed. But set watchers anyway. _

_But now she was here. She couldn't just sit like a duck. Just INCASE something happened. She was going in, and he couldn't stop her. She turned her gaze to the forest behind her follower. _

"_Shit they found us" she hissed, putting just the right amount panic in her voice. He took the bait and turned away for a split second. That was all she needed. The flash of red went off before he noticed. And the slumped on the floor, stunned. The fighter next to him was quickly dealt with in the same way. Then she was on her feet, fighting her way through the bushes until she reached her target. Then she sunk to the ground, eyes alert and watchful. The target was ahead, an old grey building. She couldn't see any Death Eaters but the distant sounds of fighting reached her ears. She made her way carefully out of the bushes but had only taken a few steps when she heard someone near her, she spun and noticing black robes cast one of the quickest spells of her life, the Death Eater dodged it and threw an avada at her which she dodged. They duelled for a few minutes, and slowly she found herself pushed towards the building. She didn't even think about why she was being pushed that way until another step back set off a magical alarm, she cursed and in her fit of anger managed to slice through the Death Eaters body from shoulder to hip. She left him bleeding and ran to warn the other members. But it was too late._

_Black robed figures were appearing everywhere. And they were quickly overpowering the Order members; she mentally punished herself for her mistake. Thankfully she noticed them all apparating away and she quickly ran to aid those that couldn't. She was just about to apparate herself when she remembered her guards. Suddenly dread filled her; she could have sworn she saw black robes heading into the forest. She ran, back the way she had come, the only way to find them was retracing her steps. It took her far to long. And when she got there she found them both gone. She looked around wildly, and listened, they must be nearby. Then she heard what she sought, the sound of two Death Eaters chuckling. She followed them cautiously, until they came back to the original fighting scene. There were a group of black robbed figures in a huddle. She couldn't see any Order members about and she felt her heart lift. But it sunk again when she saw the Death Eaters she had been following. They were each levitating one of the stunned members. _

"_Look what we found!" One of them smirked. There was a small chorus of cheering. And Hermione felt sick to her stomach, she had to get them out. But how? She could think of no way. So she watched, and waited for an opportunity. None came. But she waited and watched anyway. She saw them wake their captors and set them on their knees. The auror was staring at them, and although she couldn't see his face, she could see the defiance. But the other man had his head hung. They were both tortured in turn by the amused Death Eaters. But they soon got frustrated with Andrew. He never screamed or begged for mercy like the other man and Hermione felt the respect for him welling up, he didn't deserve this. Eventually they quietened down, they seemed to be murmuring between themselves. It was to quiet for her to hear but even she couldn't miss the last thing the leader said. _

"_This ones not going to talk, he's useless. Anderson, kill him, Avery, bring the other" _

"_Ok, give me a minute, I'm sure I can crack him. A silent prisoner is no fun to kill" _

"_All right but don't take long, those blood traitors will be back soon to clear up our mess" She watched and listened to the sound of popping as they all apparated away. When all was silent she felt a small smile on her face. She could still save him. But he had started cursing Andrew before they had all left so she had to wait and watch in horror. The horror and disgust grew stronger with every curse that hit Andrew and she had to restrain herself. When there were only two left she couldn't contain it any more and sent a curse at one of them, he fell and Hermione quickly turned her attention to Anderson. Who seemed surprised, but then he smirked. _

"_Looks like a little pussy cat got left behind" He sent a curse at Andrew before her own curse was sent forth. He dodged it still smirking and sent a quick curse back at her which she only just dodged. _

"_I think I'll keep-" _

"_Avada Kadava" she screamed at him. Her mind filled with helping Andrew who was now lying slumped on the floor. It hit Anderson and he fell dead. She didn't even care; she ran forward to Andrew's body and knelt beside it. Tears streaming down her face she turned him over and was shocked to find him still alive. His eyes stared up at her._

_She felt his blood pooling onto her robes but she couldn't find his wound to heal it. _

"_There's no point" he croaked. "You can't cure me" Hermione kept looking until his hand reached up to stop her. _

"_Did you get him?" He whispered. She nodded, unable to speak and he smiled._

_Finally she managed to force out words. "I'm so sorry" she whispered. But she was too late, just as the words left her lips the light faded from his eyes. She kept muttering her apology over and over again, rocking Andrews body until she heard a grown from the Death Eater next to her. Anger filled her again and she leapt to her feet. _

"_Crucio!" She screamed. When she stopped she said._

"_Where's is he?" The Death Eater just laughed. Not knowing or caring what she wanted, the man who killed her parents. She cursed him again and again, repeating the question each and curse in turn until hearing a pop and fearing discovery she cast the worst unforgivable for the second time that day. Then fell defeated to her knees beside Andrew. _

She had tried to forget that terrible day so many times and for while she had, it was locked up in her subconscious but when she did think about it, she couldn't feel the remorse for the Death Eaters she killed cold bloodedly that day. She didn't think of Andrew unless she could help it.

So lost in her memories she hadn't noticed the rain giving way to a watery sun. She got to her feet. The boys would wake up soon and she might as well make them something to eat. It would keep her mid out of the gutter. But even as she fried the bacon and heat up the beans she thought about it. It was Harry who had found her. He was the only one who knew the full story; he had plucked it from her weakened mind. And somehow Ginny had got hold of some of the details. She was lucky she hadn't been branded a murderess, which was no less than she deserved. Harry had understood to some extent. That's why he hadn't told anyone. But he had been disappointed.

It seems like the smell had woken the two up and it wasn't long before Harry came into the kitchen, followed by an ashamed Charlie. Harry picked up the paper and sat at the table, filling his head with even more useless and depressing information. Hermione placed the food in front of him. She turned to prepare Charlie's but found him standing by the bacon.

"I'm sorry" he muttered quietly. She raised an eyebrow and he sighed. "I am really sorry for being such a dick last night. I didn't mean anything that I said." Hermione gave him a small smile and handed him his plate so he could serve himself. He wasn't completely forgiven; she was still going to let him have his hangover.

It turned out that Charlie had to go out for a bit but then he was free so Hermione told him to go to the library when he got back to find her. Then they would go out. So she spent most of her morning in the library researching the charm Severus had used. But she was once again disappointed by the lack of instruction on the charm. She had thought the Black library would have more on forbidden magic than it did. But she supposed Dumbledore must have had a sort through the books when he chose the place for headquarters. Finally Charlie arrived, but at first he didn't talk, he just sat in the chair contemplating her, so it seemed anyway. It reminded her of what she had done when he was asleep. She didn't object, she had just found an interesting chapter she wanted to finish. When he did speak it was accompanied by a stroke of her hair.

"I wish you knew how amazing you are" he sighed. And Hermione shook her head. He smiled. "What no return compliment?" she couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face at his expression.

"I'm far from amazing. And nice to know you only compliment me to get boosts to your own ego!" He winked

"Like I need that" She let loose a small laugh.

"You're impossible" she smiled.

"And you're amazing…That's why I love you" her smile froze for some reason. Had he seriously just said that? Was it really that time already? She found her mouth remained open for some time. Charlie didn't seem fazed; he leant down and kissed her forehead

"It's okay if you're not ready to say it yet, I don't mind. Now I'm going to get ready, see you in twenty" He was just about to leave the door when Hermione found her voice. She threw the book on the table and ran up to him; he turned in time to catch her. She clung onto him tightly, wishing with all her heart she could say the words back and mean them, but her lips wouldn't form the words, so instead she whispered

"I just need time." She felt his arms constrict around her even more as he nodded again her neck, muttering

"I know."

That night Hermione lay alone in her bed, surrounded by blackness. She liked it though, it gave her time to contemplate the day. Spending proper time with Charlie again had shown her why she fell for him the first time. He had been funny, kind and charming. He had let her choose where to go, what to eat and when to come home. His happiness had been contagious, calming her and filling her with more happiness than she had felt in awhile. The only dampener had been that occasionally she caught him looking at her or into the distance with deep troubled eyes. They had only been mere moments and overall she had been sad for the day to end. But at least it filled her with the promise of more similar days…when the war was over of course. She suddenly found herself thinking about what life would be like if they won the war and she actually survived…which was looking a lot less likely recently. She imagined nice house…kids…maybe marriage. It was hard to picture anything in great detail as it seemed so far fetched and fairy tale. That wasn't her and it never would be.

The next morning brought no word from her potions professor and as she sat and stared out the window she couldn't help but feel worry prick at her. She knew she had no real right to, and that he was probably fine she still couldn't help herself. The day drifted on uneventful. Charlie was out again and Harry was hiding away somewhere in the house. Although members came and went fairly often she still felt the loneliness as heavy as the rain surrounding her, especially as everyone was still giving her the silent treatment. Even Zoey and Tom barely spared her a nod and smile. Truth be said that was one day she was glad to see the back off.

The next day looked to be more promising. When she opened her eyes that morning, the rain had stopped, although it still seemed to be a pretty gloomy day. That was one factor anyway; another was that she had a note from Severus waiting for her on the windowsill when she opened her eyes. Although when she opened it she found that the content did little to uplift her mood. It was simple; he hadn't even bothered to use the charm again. It simply said in messy scrawl.

_Today, 5 o'clock, use the portkey. _

And that was it. It gave her no room for choice, not that it needed to, she would have gone even given the choice. But 5 o'clock might prove awkward. It was early enough that Harry or Charlie might want to speak with her and late enough to promise she would be out for the majority of the evening. She headed down the stairs and almost collided with Harry and he hurried towards the door. He turned back when he noticed her and she saw the panic in his eyes.

"You're not planning on going out today are you?"

"Well actually I-"

"Don't" he interrupted. "Not today, I've already got enough to worry about, just stay in…people might come in needing help, I need you here" before she could argue her point he was gone and Hermione was left standing at the bottom of the stairs. This was just great. What was she supposed to do now? She was about to go upstairs when she saw a familiar bob of brown hair scurried from the kitchen and past her to a room nearer to the doorway, it took her a second before she realized who it was. Then she smiled, at least she had some sort of plan. She quickly followed the girl into the room surprised to find it empty apart from Zoey who seemed to be looking through the draws. Although they were both alone Hermione still went right up to her before speaking softly in the younger girls ear.

"I need a favour" her only reply was a small squeal as Zoey jumped and clutched a piece of paper to her heart.

"God you gave me a fright" she replied, smiling softly and slipping the piece of paper into her pocket. "What do you need?"

Hermione smiled in response. "You know the offer you made a few days ago; I'm going to need to cash that in for a few hours. I need to go somewhere and-"

"Don't worry about it" Zoey interrupted. "Just take me to the potion"

Although Hermione felt uncomfortable leaving someone who barely knew her to impersonate her she was still ready when the portkey was ready to use. She was unsure what might happen but Zoey was bright and Hermione had told her about her potion store and what books to use if she needed them. She only hoped that the girl could handle what was thrown at her. And that she was back before Harry, Zoey may be able to fool some people but Harry was losing his touch if he couldn't tell it wasn't her. This was what was in her head when she was travelling but as soon as she arrived at the house. It changed to worry about Severus. His note had been very brief so Hermione found her steps hurried as she headed up to the house. The door was open but the downstairs hallway was dark so she immediately headed upstairs, trying to get to her destination as quickly as possible. Her heart lifted when she saw that his office door was open as was the door to the potions room. She moved more cautiously now but there was no need to, Snape was sitting on a chair near one of the walls, reading one of his many books.

He smoothly rose to his feet, sliding the book back into place as he did. His only greeting was a brief nod in her direction. Hermione decided not to respond. Although found herself attempting to watch him subtly for any sign of injury. Unaware that he could feel her gaze and guess her intentions. He sighed

"I assure you I am perfectly fine. Now due to…circumstance we will be speeding up your training" He picked up one of the familiar vials, although the colour was slightly darker and held it out to her. Hermione stepped closer and reached out her hand, which she was dismayed to find was shaking slightly. As soon as the vial was clasped in her hand Serverus walked past her and with a swish of his cloak closed the door behind him. Hermione froze with the bottle in her hand. She knew she was supposed to drink it but it was like she couldn't lift the lid to her mouth. How much was she supposed to drink anyway? Eventually she managed to unfreeze her other arm and remove the lid from the vial. Then she finally brought it to her lips. Taking a deep breath as she did so, unable to forget the pain and humiliation her last attempt at polyjuice potion had brought upon her.

This one didn't taste nearly as vile however and she managed to drink half the vial before the pain hit her. She couldn't help but clutch her forehead with a whimper of pain, ignoring the smash of the vial as it slipped from her hand and hit the floor. It was like a burning poison that crept up from the back of her neck and spread through the rest of her head to her forehead where the pain was the most intense. She could barely feel her body transforming and she didn't care. She went gladly into the blackness that took her away from the pain.

When she opened her eyes she was disorientated, there was someone above her, shaking her. She lay helpless and blinking for a moment then instinct took over she leapt to her feet and withdrew her wand, pointing it at her attacker. He looked familiar but it was hard to place him. She blinked a couple of times and looked around her surroundings. The place was also familiar but her memories couldn't decide on a link to it. Then she realised he was calling her something and eventually it got through.

"Hermione?" he was repeating that name. But that wasn't hers was it? She tried to remember but there were so many different memories…she was a witch but muggle born or with magical parents? There was a muggle family…then it changed to another family, there was screaming and pain and the overwhelming smell of alcohol she winced and blocked that one out.

"Hermione snap out of it" the man snapped angrily and she found her eyes focussing on him again. Noticing he finally had her attention his voice softened slightly but still had that teacher tone to it. Was he her teacher…the memories screamed yes but at the same time no? She was so confused…

"Are you ok? I'm guessing the potion worked" There was a potion involved? Then the memory came to her from the random collection in her head. Her with a potion…the fear…the pain, memories all linked together started coming forward…the Order, Harry and Ron…becoming a spy. She must be Hermione Granger, that's what they called her wasn't it? Then the other memories started fighting for dominance and she was cast into doubt again.

"Hermione" Finally she found her voice to speak

"Yeah" it sounded wrong to her ears.

"How are you feeling?"

"Confused"

"I guessed, I'm going to try and teach you to keep the memories separate okay?"

She nodded, whoever she was didn't matter, for all intensive purposes she was now Hermione Granger.

**Review! And while you at it anyone got ideas for names? I'm drawing a blank! Let me know what you think!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 - Precautions**

The potion took longer than expected to wear of, and she still continued to be disorientated after that. As time went on she found the memories of Adora Snape became fuzzier, it was still incredibly strange though. Severus had told her that by using her Occulemency skills she should be able to reach a level where she could hide her true identity, while still maintaining full control. Of course that was merely his theory, and she must remember it was just that, a theory.

They were sitting on either side of a table now and Severus was sitting opposite her, a strange level of concern within his eyes. She did not kid herself that it was about her welfare, more about how his potion had affected her. He was asking her questions.

"What is your name?" he asked gently.

"Hermione Jean Granger" she replied with a sigh, closing her eyes and leaning back in her chair. They had already been over this.

"What is your date of birth?"

"19/9/79"

"Who am I to you?"

Hermione paused at that question, some part of her wanted to say brother but that wasn't correct, but could she still refer to him as her professor? After considering it she realised this was probably her best bet.

"You are one of my professors at Hogwarts"

"What house were you in?"

"Slytherin-Damn it!" Hermione banged her fists against the table in annoyance; the past tense had gotten to her. Then she raised her palms to cover her face, letting her hair fall over them.

"Gryffindor, I am in Gryffindor" Was her muffled response through the hair. It had been the past tense that had gotten her. She heard him sigh and the creak as he leant back into his chair; that was the third time she had gotten a question wrong.

"This was a mistake, this is obviously too much to handle"

Hermione's head shot up, no no no he couldn't give up on this and on her! This was her only chance. She focussed her brown eyes on him, locking onto his dark ones, her look was pleading. He stared right back into her eyes, as if searching for something; then he rubbed his face tiredly with his hand.

"Fine, let us try again"

* * *

After another stressful and increasing frustrating hour of question and answer they finally decided to call it a day, or late evening as Hermione realized, unable to see a clock she had no idea of the time.

"How long was I changed?" she asked Severus curiously, it hadn't occurred to her to ask before now.

He thought for a moment before replying. "I think it was a little under two hours, which was incredibly surprising as you only managed to drink half the bottle before you passed out…this batch appears to be stronger than the original Polyjuice potion." He looked as though this was of great interest to him. "We may have to work on reducing the level of intake as it took you nearly three hours to return to a state that can be considered normal…and a further hour for you to get all of the basic questions correct, and you still are aware of the memories to high level are you not?"

Hermione was about to say that they were mostly gone when what he had just said sunk it. "I've been out for SIX HOURS? Holy shit that means it's nearly midnight!" Her mind worked in overdrive as she considered the implications of having been away for this long. Poor Zoey was probably worried. That was if she hadn't been caught! Hermione looked up to see a small smirk on Snape's face at her reaction to the time. Then something seemed to dawn on him and his face grew slightly darker.

"Does anyone know where you are going when you meet me?" Hermione shook her head.

"This is a problem; they will begin to worry about your absence"

"I have found someone to…cover for me, it's a new development" she moved uncomfortably, hoping she would not have to admit her use of Zoey and Polyjuice potion.

"Nevertheless I am assuming that this person is not available all the time, that would be…impractical. I am correct?"

Hermione nodded, wondering where this could be heading. His next words were not what she was expected.

"It is not safe or practical for you to remain at the Order, not as a living accommodation anyway"

"Wait what? Why?" Her eyebrows raised in confusion. Her voice was cautious, weary of what he might say.

"It will not be long before your absences may be revealed, I am assuming Potter is attempting to keep you under lockdown most of the time. It will not be long before he gets suspicious and investigates your disappearances"

Her blood ran cold as his words sunk in, as much as she hated to admit it, he was right. As much as she liked to think of Zoey as a permanent solution it wasn't really viable for long term. She could not always be Hermione, and even though Hermione might improve her control over herself after the potion, it would take practice, and lots of time. Time she couldn't spend away from Headquarters without someone noticing her. She groaned and sunk down in her chair. Then she remembered the time. She climbed to her feet, "Would you mind taking me to the apparition point, I really must be getting back"

Severus gave her a curt nod and rose gracefully to his feet. As they were walking back among the eerie corridors Hermione let her thoughts race around her head, most of the memories had receded now so she felt fully in control. She was finding it harder and harder to access all the alternate thoughts. So consumed was she with herself and her predicament. Where could she go? Would Harry let her go? What on Earth could she tell him? One of her hands came up in agitation and pulled its way through her hair.

The potions master did not speak as they walked along the corridor, not that she minded, too caught up in her own thoughts. Finally she asked one of the most important questions that had been burning in her mind.

"How exactly can I move out of the Headquarters? I am under age"

"That is simple Miss Granger; you must live with an overage Witch or Wizard" when she looked at him in annoyance he just continued to stare straight ahead, his face set and deadly serious, though his features were barely tangible in the darkness. For the rest of the walk they were both silent, Hermione in contemplation about where she could go and who knew what was going though the older mans head. She was about to open her mouth to ask him who could she possibly live with when he spoke.

"We are at the apparition point Miss Granger." Startled she looked around and realized he was correct. She removed her wand to apparate when he spoke again.

"Before you leave Miss Granger, I would like to take your magical signature to increase the security of our conversations. Will there be a problem with that?"

Hermione shook her head but made no other movement, why should she? She had no idea what to do so she held her wand loosely at her side. Severus smiled slightly and took a step forward, holding his hand out, cautiously offering her and to meet his, seeing her hesitancy Severus took her hand placing it a small object. Then he moved away, in her palm sat a ring, similar in design to the portkey she wore on her finger.

Severus's voice took on a teacher tone "There are two ways that you can imprint your magical signature, casting an ordinary charm on an object will leave a trace or you can just cast the Subcriptio impressio straight onto the object. But this means that instead of merely being able to trace the signature I will be able to harvest it onto other objects. Do you understand?"

"So you could make it seem like I cast a charm that I didn't?"

"Yes, I believe I will also be able to tailor the potion to react to only your magical signature. This would be useful for security reasons of course"

"Well...okay, how do I cast the charm?"

"So willing to trust me Miss Granger, it continues to astound me" Hermione shrugged, it needed to be done anyway. "No matter, it is not a complex charm. All you must do is visualise the essence of yourself in your mind and cast the charm on the object. Try it now; your Occulumency might help you reach the correct state of mind."

Hermione did as instructed, closing her eyes and trying to visualise her essence, it was definitely easier said than done. What did her essence consist of? Her love of knowledge? Her desire to be useful?

"_Subcriptio Impressio_" she murmured, wand pointing at the object in her hand. A small flash of light lit up at the end of her wand, leaving Hermione believing in her success until she saw the light die at the end, that didn't look quite right. "Darn it" she murmured, and attempted to do the same thing again, however once again the light died. She had a few more goes before she realised this was going to take some practice. No matter what she pictured the furthest she could get was shooting the light towards the object, however it merely rebounded.

"Practice is what is required Miss Granger" He held out his hand for the ring. Hermione was glad to see it go, she watched as Severus moved his wand gently across the surface of the ring. "It is very weak but there is something there that I can use." Hermione felt her heart lift slightly at the slight success. "This will however, not last for very long so if you would practice what I have instructed and give me a correct signature that would be useful. Goodnight Miss Granger"

Hermione nodded seeing the dismissal and prepared to apparate when surprisingly Severus spoke again.

"I am willing to allow you to take up accommodation in my manor, however if this is not pleasing to you I will not force it. It merely seems practical as eventually you will be pretending to be my sister. You may think about it before giving your answer."

Hermione stood there in shock as the figure in the dark retreated back in the direction they had come. The wind tugged against her hair and sent chills all over her skin but she did not care. So engrossed was she in the understanding of how difficult it must have been for him to suggest that she move in, he was a man who liked his privacy. And she could not imagine him being pleased at the notion of sharing his home with an 'insufferable know-it-all'. She closed her eyes and apparated away, she had a lot to think about.

* * *

Hermione's thoughts danced around her head as she made her way carefully up the stairs. She was almost confused when she saw the dim light of her lamp shining through the door. Instantly thinking that someone like Harry must be searching through her things, or even worse…waiting for her to return. She knocked gently, and heard the sound of sudden movement, as if they were looking for something.

"Give me a sec"

"It's Hermione" Hermione whispered and the scuffling stopped, the door opened and there stood Zoey, as herself. Hermione quickly slipped into the room and shut the door behind her. On the untidily made up bed lay a book, that's what Zoey must have been doing when she disturbed her. She smiled at Zoey nervously, unsure how she could explain the reasons for leaving the girl alone for so long. Zoey smiled back tiredly.

"I'm really sorry-" Zoey shook her head slightly, her messy ponytail swinging at the movement. She looked so young Hermione felt another twinge of guilt.

"As long as you keep your part of the deal, and be me for the raids, its fine. Oh and nothing much really happened when you were gone. No one really came looking for you, guess they known you like your privacy" Another small smile. This one was a bit more agitated, nervous and uncomfortable even. "But I guess that just makes it easier for the both of us eh?"

Hermione nodded and stepped out of the doorway to allow the young girl to pass; as she did Hermione caught a hint of a familiar scent hanging of the girl, unable to place it, Hermione let it slip to the back of her mind as she wished Zoey a goodnight. Gratefully closing the door and collapsing down onto her bed. Lying back she placed her hands over her eyes, trying to block out the dim light of the lamp while her thoughts danced about in her mind. It was all so difficult to follow, she felt the overwhelming and increasing complication of her life bearing down on her as she lay there.

She was lying to Harry, she was disobeying the Order's instructions, interacting with the known murderer of her old Headmaster, and above all that she was drawing a young girl into all this! And now Snape was asking her to move in with him? Where the hell had that come from? But the more she thought about it, the more it made sense.

She released the pressure on her eyes blinking at the light before pulling herself quickly to her feet, removing the offending light and slipping into her Pyjama's. Then she sank beneath her covers, revelling in the warmth on her cold feet. Darn wooden floorboards were nightmares. The silk of her Pyjama's was soft against her skin and she found herself trailing her fingers along the material in appreciation. She had really bought these for when she spent the night with Charlie, but that was becoming more of an unlikely scenario lately. It was becoming so difficult…her thoughts began to detangle as she let herself drift off into a well deserved sleep. What was she going to do about him? Her last thought before darkness took her was contemplation about which him she actually meant. She had so many problems with so many men.

* * *

She awoke with a start. The cool wood of her wand clenched in her fist. Her eyes darted agitatedly around the pitch black room. The silence of the room enveloped her, as though it was trying to suffocate the loud beating of her heart and her shallow breathing. After a few seconds she lowered her wand, reaching up to rub her face tiredly. When she felt damp on her cheeks she recoiled, tears? Her hand slid to her sore throat. It must have been some sort of nightmare. She was lucky no one had heard her, as she relaxed she felt the grogginess of sleep replace the adrenaline that had pumped through her veins a few moments ago. And before the warmth of her pillow could draw her back she quickly cast a silencing exam, stifling the yawn that tried to force its way though her lips. She didn't really want to take any chances of someone hearing her and coming to investigate.

* * *

As it is with events occurring during the late hours of the night, when Hermione awoke the next morning she couldn't tell if it had actually happened or was merely a dream. She had no recollection of a nightmare, but that didn't help. Not everybody remembered their nightmares. Her head ached slightly and she could only put it down to the exertions of last night. She rubbed it with her strangely cold hands and felt instantly soothed. Unwilling to leave the bed she lay in the semi lightness of early morning and thought. Eventually her thoughts became too muddled for even her to comprehend fully so she decided to write some of them down on paper. She rolled onto her side, causing the warm blankets to wrap even snugger around her body. The piece of paper and the book it was resting on lay on her pillow and she brought her pen to her mouth. Where to start? She scribbled the titles down while she thought, the lent down to rest on her folded arms.

She wrote down one name to get her started.

_Harry _

There was nothing she could do to him now, she had lost all her influence and she didn't think she was getting it back anytime soon. Hermione knew she would have to talk to him soon anyway. She couldn't just move out without telling him, and she had come to the conclusion that it was the best option. That led her on to her next point of discussion.

_Charlie_

What was she going to tell him? He was acting really strange recently, or maybe he was just reacting badly to events at the moment. She wasn't being the easiest person to be with. Then there was the whole new predicament of the L word getting involved. He couldn't love her, it was too soon, it made no sense. Her stomach felt hollow at the remembrance of her response. Charlie deserved someone who could say the word back and mean it, not hide from it. Before she would have to pull herself out of bed she wrote one more word down on the piece of paper.

_Severus _

This time no thoughts came to mind immediately. She stared at the name lying blank on the piece of paper; she had nowhere to start with him. Absent-mindedly she began to let her pencil doodle on the piece of paper as she let her mind wander. It was only when she came to her senses did she realise the doodle she had drawn was without a doubt the picture of the ring still on her finger, and next to it, was a very swirly heart. Quickly she scribbled it all out. What an absurd drawing. She scrunched up the piece of paper, throwing it angrily towards the bin at the other side of the room. Then something hit her. The smell, the smell she had sensed on Zoey, she recognised it now. Her hand clenched angrily, she was going to have a few words with that girl.

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